J and H's Movie Reviews

And the Winner Is...

2011-02-28T12:40:00.004-05:00

Well, as most of you already know last night was the 83rd Annual Academy Awards! 2010 was an amazing year for movies and many of these great movies were honored with the ultimate award in film: an Oscar. That being said, however, last night's Oscars were not very interesting. There were no upsets or surprise winners. Everything was pretty much straight forward. Hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco were bland and uninteresting and the nights funny moments came from an autotune version of Harry Potter and Twilight and a shout out to "Marky Mark" from James Franco's grandma. However, unlike many years, the show seem to progress at a nice speed which kept many viewers watching despite the failed attempts at humor. But the point of the Oscars is not to be funny. But to honor the best of the best in movies for this past year. So, here are a list of winners and my thoughts on the bigger awards.

Best Picture: The King's Speech

My thoughts: The King's Speech is a heart-warming and inspiring story of the Duke of York overcoming his terrible stutter to become King. The movie greatly deserved to win the honor of Best Picture. However, it was not my personal favorite of the year.

Best Director: Tom Hooper for The King's Speech

My thoughts: Well, this proved to be the night's only upset. Many, including myself, thought this award would go to David Fincher for the amazing movie The Social Network. However, Tom Hooper deserved this award just as much if not more than Fincher so no complaints from me.

Best Actor: Colin Firth for The King's Speech

My thoughts: No complaints here either. Personally, I loved Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network and I wanted him to get recognized for that role. However, Firth acted his heart out in The King's Speech and he deserved this award just as much as Eisenberg.

Best Actress: Natalie Portman for Black Swan

My thoughts: I know a lot of people did not exactly love her performance as the crazed ballerina Nina in Black Swan but I loved it. I love Natalie Portman and I loved Black Swan and I am just so thrilled that it received some recognition.

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale for The Fighter

My thoughts: I haven't seen The Fighter so I am neither happy nor unhappy about this particular victory. However, I do plan to watch the movie eventually and will get back to you when I know what I'm talking about.

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo for The Fighter

My thoughts: As I've said before, I have not seen The Fighter yet. However, Melissa Leo's speech did prove to be one of the most interesting moments of the night when she dropped the F-bomb half way through her speech. Presenters and even her costars poked fun at her for the rest of the night and it will go down in Oscar history because it was the first time the F-word has ever been said onstage at the Oscars.

Best Animated Film: Toy Story 3

Best Documentary: Inside Job

Best Foreign Language Film: In a Better World from Denmark

Best Visual Effects: Inception

Best Original Screenplay: The King's Speech

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network

Best Music: The Social Network

Best Original Song: We Belong Together from Toy Story 3

Best Costume: Alice in Wonderland

Best Make-up: The Wolfman

Well, there are the big winners. There are more categories for more technical awards and those winner can be found on oscars.go.com/nominations. Hope you enjoyed watching the Oscars last night and let me know your thoughts about all the winners.

-H

PS- Just want to let you all know that this is our 100th post! :)

Oscars!

2011-02-11T11:44:00.005-05:00

Well, it's Oscars time again and I'm very excited to see how things play out. Here is a list of all nominees for the big awards and my predictions on who will be taking home that little golden statue.

Best Picture

The Social Network

Toy Story 3

Inception

True Grit

Winter's Bone

Black Swan

127 Hours

The Fighter

The Kids are All Right

The King's Speech

My prediction: I've seen all of these except for The Fighter and 127 Hours (and I plan on watching both of those before the award show) but I predict that The Social Network will win this one and I think it deserves to win.

Best Director

Darren Aranofsky-Black Swan

David O. Russel- The Fighter

Tom Hooper-The King's Speech

David Fincher- The Social Network

The Coen Brothers-True Grit

My prediction: I may be a little bias about this (because he is my favorite director) but I REALLY want Darren Aranofsky to win. However, I predict that David Fincher will win this one.

Best Actress

Natalie Portman-Black Swan

Annette Benning-The Kids are All Right

Nicole Kidman-Rabbit Hole

Jennifer Lawrence-Winter's Bone

Michelle Williams-Blue Valentine

My prediction: Again, this may be because of my own personal bias, but I really want Natalie Portman to win and I predict that she will win this one just like she's won best actress at every other award show so far.

Best Actor

Javier Bardem-Biutiful

Jeff Bridges-True Grit

Jesse Eisenberg-The Social Network

Colin Firth-The King's Speech

James Franco-127 Hours

My prediction: Colin Firth-hands down

Best Supporting Actress

Amy Adams-The Fighter

Melissa Leo-The Fighter

Hailee Steinfeld- True Grit

Helena Bonham Carter- The King's Speech

Jacki Weaver-Animal Kingdom

My prediction: I think Melissa Leo will win. I haven't seen The Fighter so I don't really know how good she is but I'm choosing her because she's won for best supporting actress at most of the other awards ceremonies.

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale-The Fighter

John Hawkes-Winter's Bone

Jeremy Renner-The Town

Mark Ruffalo-The Kids are All Right

Geoffrey Rush-The King's Speech

My Prediction: Just like with the best supporting actress, I haven't seen The Fighter but I still think Christian Bale will win this category.

Best Animated Feature

The Illusionist

How to Train Your Dragon

Toy Story 3

My prediction: Toy Story 3

Best Original Screenplay

Another Year

The Fighter

Inception

The Kids Are All Right

The King's Specch

My prediction: The King's Speech

Best Adapted Screenplay

127 Hours

The Social Network

True Grit

Toy Story 3

Winter's Bone

My prediction: The Social Network

There are many other categories that highlight specials aspects of many deserving movies. If you are interested in learning more about the Oscar nominees for 2011, check out the official Oscars website or go to imdb.com and search for the nominees. Make sure to tune in on February 27, 2011 at 8 pm on abc to see who the winners are!

-H

Monsters

2011-01-11T20:57:00.003-05:00

In Monsters, half of Mexico has been taken over by alien creatures. This area is called the infected zone. In the film, Andrew and Samantha find themselves trapped in Mexico at the start of “the season”, when the creatures are the most active. Unable to find passage by ferry around the zone, they must travel through on foot in order to return to America. Now this may sound like a typical science fiction thriller, but it's not. The film was made for a remarkably small budget, with only two professional actors and no special equipment. That being said, Monsters is a remarkable film.

In this day of multi-million dollar blockbusters with hundreds of members of crew, it is usually bad form to refer to one person as being the author(or auteur) of a film. However with Monsters, it is safe to credit its success to one man, Gareth Edwards. Edwards wrote and directed the film, as well as acted as the director of cinematography, the production designer and the sole member of its visual effects crew. This is his film from start to finish, and as this is his first major film, he deserves to be applauded.

The two actors in the film, Whitney Able and Scoot McNairy, also deserve some credit. They both turn in excellent, understated performances that are perfect for this film. The feel and look of the film are wonderfully created. This is not a grand spectacle alien flick, there is real human drama at the heart of the movie, the aliens feel almost secondary. The focus is on the characters and their interactions with each other. When the creatures do come in though, the tension is excellently created and held and in this area I think the low budget worked to the film's advantage. Not seeing the creatures for most of the film gives a nice tense feeling to it.

If this film has a failing, it would be in the writing. Occasionally some of the lines would come out just a little stilted and unbelievable, but I don't think it's a major enough issue to keep someone from seeing this movie. It's a different take on the alien genre that I think would appeal even to those who don't normally watch science fiction films.

-J

Best Movies of 2010

2011-01-11T15:19:00.009-05:00

Here are my top ten favorite movies of 2010. I only picked from the movies that I have seen so if your favorite movie from last year isn't on here let me know in the comments and if I haven't seen it I'll try to watch it.

10. Shutter Island

Director: Martin Scorcese
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio

"You'll never leave this island."

9. How to Train Your Dragon

Director: Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders
Stars: Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler

" This is Berk. It snows nine months out of the year, and hails the other three. What little food grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here, even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies, or parrots... we have dragons."

8. The Kids are All Right

Director: Lisa Cholodenko
Stars: Annette Bening, Julianne Moore

"Sometimes, you know, you're together for so long, that you just... You stop seeing the other person."

7. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Director: Edgar Wright
Stars: Michael Cera

"The only thing separating me from her is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass."

6. Kick Ass

Director: Matthew Vaughn
Stars: Aaron Johnson, Nicholas Cage, Chloe Mortez

"Like most people my age, I just existed."

5. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part One

Director: David Yates
Stars: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson

"If we are the ones to hand Potter to the Dark Lord, everything will be as it was, you understand?"

4. Inception

Director: Christopher Nolan
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page

"The seed that we planted in this man's mind may change everything."

3. Toy Story 3

Director: Lee Unkrich
Stars: Tim Allen, Tom Hanks

"Sunnyside is a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smells of strawberries!"

2. True Grit

Director: The Coen Brothers
Stars: Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Hailee Steinfeld

"You must pay for everything in this world, one way and another. There is nothing free except the grace of God."

1. Black Swan

Director: Darren Aronofsky
Stars: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis

"I had the craziest dream last night about a girl who has turned into a swan, but her prince falls for the wrong girl and she kills herself."

-H

Hot Tub Time Machine

2011-01-11T15:04:00.004-05:00

Every year hundreds of commedies come out all across the world. Most suck. Usually, the acting sucks, the story sucks, and the humor sucks. However, every once in awhile the rare comedy comes along that is actually funny. Hot Tub Time Machine is the funny comedy of 2010. Starring John Cusack as the unhappy, divorced middle aged man who longs to recapture his youth, Hot Tub Time Machine tells the story of four men who take a vacation to an abandoned old town that used to be the hot place for teenagers to hang out. Once there the enter a hot tub that transports that back to the eighties. Not only is the story unique and fun, but it's actually funny. Seeing three older men relive the 80's and one young man experience the eighties for the first time is just hilarious. And on top of that, the pop cultural references abound and are genius. The movie showcases the bright, mismatched fashion of the time as well as the slang and obsessions of teens of the time.
The acting is also incredibly funny. Craig Robinson is hilarious in his role as the whipped middle-aged man who takes his wifes last name and Clark Duke holds the movie together with his role as the tech-savvy nerd who needs to get out and get a life.
The reason I think I liked this movie so much was because it's main purposes was to be fun. It was not serious and even the drama was fun to watch. Hot Tub Time Machine may not be appropriate for the whole family because of the language and sexual content, but it is still a very entertaining and funny movie.

-H

Hellboy

2011-01-10T19:12:00.004-05:00

I'm a very big fan of comic book/superhero movies and I'm also a huge fan of Guillermo Del Toro so I thought that I would be a huge fan of this movie. However, I must admit that I was a little disappointed.
Hellboy is a superhero movie about a demon that is summoned by a group of Nazis. The demon is just a little baby and is adopted by a paranormal advisor to the American government. As Hellboy ages he begins to fight crime, particularly crimes involving other demons and paranormal entities. The action begins when the same group of Nazis come to America to finish what they started so many years earlier. Like many superhero movies, the action and special effects are top notch but the story is a bit scattered.
To me, it felt that Guillermo del Toro had too much that he wanted to show in too little time. The movie was packed with a bunch of action sequences that did not all mesh together. I also found that I was having trouble following the storyline. Usually I don't like when a movie spells out exactly what is going on, but Hellboy didn't explain anything that was happening. I felt quite confused during several sequences, not about what was happening, but about why it was happening. I also found it difficult to keep track of all of the characters.
However, I must commend del Toro for making such a fun and action-packed movie. Many superhero films take themselves far too seriously and go for the dark, brooding characters and feel. Hellboy, however, keeps the atmosphere light and fun by adding comic relief, like a talking skeleton, to keep audiences entertained.
While I was not completely impressed with this film, I do plan on giving Hellboy 2: The Golden Army a chance. Hellboy, while a bit confusing at times, is a fun, entertaining, action-packed film that the whole family can enjoy.

-H

Cowards Bend the Knee

2011-01-10T17:33:00.005-05:00

Let me start this entry with a question: How many readers have ever seen a silent movie? What about a silent movie made in 2003? If you answered no to one or both of those questions then you may have trouble watching Guy Madden's silent film Cowards Bend the Knee. Reminiscent of David Lynch's film Eraserhead, Cowards Bend the Knee is a black and white film made in modern times. However, unlike Eraserhead the only sound in the film comes from an orchestral score and a few sound effects that occur few and far between. However, no meaning is lost from the absence of sound. The film is a powerful and somewhat terrifying film that highlights the sexual deviances of the main character as well as his love affair with a young woman who wants to avenge her father's death. While it is hard to critique the acting, mainly because of the lack of dialogue and the confusing nature of the filming, all actors seemed to immerse themselves in their roles. The young actresses especially portrayed their characters beautifully and with intensity and passion. However, the most commendable aspect of this film was by far the cinematography. Filming in black and white is always more difficult than filming in color because the cinematographer must painstakingly visualize what each scene will look like when seen by audiences in black and white. Making a silent film also adds difficulty to the project because the cinematographer and director must coach the actors and actresses on how to show what is happening in the film without relying on dialogue (which is a difficult task for many modern actors. Guy Maddin, the director and cinematographer, showed true dedication to the medium by filming a black and white and silent film in the modern, special-effects crazed film industry. However, taking a risk paid off in a major way. While the movie may not be a blockbuster hit it is well-received by many film critics and currently has a 95% on the film review site Rotten Tomatoes.
While Cowards Bend the Knee is an interesting experience, I would not recommend it to most people. It is not for the faint of heart and most people will find it hard to watch a modern silent film. It takes a special kind of person to enjoy such a surreal movie and the average movie viewer will most likely find themselves revolted, horrified, and very confused.

-H

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

2010-11-23T17:43:00.003-05:00

Can you say amazing? The seventh installment in the Harry Potter series may just be the best yet. Although the characters are all grown up and facing not only the evil Voldermort but also their feelings for each other, the movie works and feels like a more grown up version of the original Potter movies.
Daniel Radcliffe's portrayal of Harry Potter is at its best in the new film. He and Emma Watson have so much on screen chemistry (even though the two aren't supposed to have any chemistry) it's crazy. The play off of each other's emotions and their characters seem to be more in love with each other than they should be if they are truly only friends. Rupert Grint's portrayal of the emotional Ron also works well in the new film and shows Ron's angst at Harry and Hermione's steamy relationship. The actors finally allow for their characters to grow and develop into well-rounded adults.
The cinematography also surpasses that of the other films. David Yate's take on the seventh Harry Potter works completely. The film is darker than it's predecessor's but with good reason. The seventh book is much darker than the earlier books and the problems faced by the characters are darker and worse than ever before. However, I do feel that the film may have been too dark for children. But this doesn't concern me much considering it was not made to be a children's film. With a solid PG-13 rating if parents decide to take there kids to see this movie than they will just have to deal with the subsequent nightmares. Because there will be nightmares. From a scene where a woman's decaying body crumbles into a snake and viciously attacks Harry to an animated sequence where Death stalks three brothers and causes one to hang himself because of a broken heart, the movie is much more adult than the earlier films.
Deathly Hallows may not have been the best Potter book, but it was by far the best Potter movie. The adult themes, character development, and dark imagery all create a beautiful interpretation of Rowling's novel. Also, for those die hard Potter fans, the movie stays pretty close to the book with no noticeable changes.
Hope you all go see the movie and enjoy it!

-H

Mr. Bean's Holiday

2010-08-01T21:36:00.003-04:00

Mr. Bean was a character created many years ago for a British television show. Played by Rowan Atkinson, Bean is a quiet, simple man who only speak in monosyllables. The original show was very funny, with well written skits. As much of the show was done without any dialog, it relied on sight gags and physical comedy. Some years afterward, a film, simply titled Bean was released that had some funny material, but still did not reach the heights that the television show reached. When Mr. Bean's Holiday was released, I hoped for a return to the simplicity and humor of the original material, but I was sadly disappointed.

Rowan Atkinson does his usual best effort. The actor excels at this type of comedy, relying on funny faces and humorous noises, but his stretchy face does him little good here. The material is dry and boring. The only good thing about this film is its mercifully short length of 86 minutes. Willem Dafoe shows up as a high art film director, making fun of the type of films that are shown at the Cannes Film Festival. I will acknowledge that those art films are the total opposite of what this is. Mr. Bean's Holiday is a shallow movie with no substance whatsoever. The fictional film that Willem Dafoe shows at the festival looks infinitely more interesting than the real film that we are watching. With all the excellent films Dafoe has acted in, I can almost see him asking himself which of his agents he should fire for signing him up for this movie. Rowan Atkinson shows no shame for showing up here. I think it is time for him to move on to something a little better.

-J

Natural Born Killers

2010-07-14T14:16:00.003-04:00

Voted as one of the 25 most dangerous films of all times, Oliver Stone's Natural Born Killers is one of the coolest, scariest, wildest movies I've ever seen. On face value, the movie is about two mass murderers, Mickey and Mallory, who are in love with each other and with killing. The movie shows their journey together. It shows how the meet, how they live, and then it shows a bit of their time spent in prison. But the movie isn't really about Mickey and Mallory. It isn't even really about murder. It's, almost too clearly, about violence in the media. We see the press coverage of Mickey and Mallory's killing, we see the fans they gain (a la Bonnie and Clyde), and we always see snippets of news reports covering the trial of a murderer, a murder at a wedding, and a forest fire ravaging a village. Oliver Stone weaved this tale of two murderous lovers to show how the media exploits the hardships of others for ratings.

The story of Natural Born Killers is just amazing. It's violent and gory and over-the-top and awesome. But the story is just the base of this movie. The story really isn't what's important. It's the characters. Mickey, played by Woody Harrelson, was just plain charming. Yes he's a murderer. Yes he's crazy. But you just can help but love him. And the more you listen to what he says, the more you understand his crazy. The more you feel for him and for his lover, Mallory, who is played by Juliette Lewis. You'll even find yourself rooting for Mallory when she lights her mother's bed on fire because of the life-long abuse she has faced from her father and mother. Both actors have a special ability. An ability to pull people into their characters, no matter how evil the character is. But, they weren't the only good actors in the movie. Tommy Lee Jones provides an astoundingly over-the-top performance as the manager of the prison housing Mickey and Mallory and Robert Downey Jr. delivers as a TV personality trying to get the best ratings by interviewing the notorious and well-loved Mickey.

Natural Born Killers best quality, however, was the editing. It was just astounding. There were nearly 7000 cuts throughout the film and everything blended together. There were different types of shots, some in black and white, some in color. And each shot, each cut, each color, meant something. The black and white meant that we were watching inside the head of the characters while color meant that everything was happening exactly as it happened with nothing changed or manipulated. And each cut showed a different demon, or dark side, that lived inside of Mickey. Every shot meant something.

Natural Born Killers is not a movie for everyone. There is very, very graphic violence that may disturb some people. There is a lot of blood and a lot of gore and the subject matter is deeply frightening. However, for people who don't mind a little, well a lot, of blood, Natural Born Killers is a must see commentary on the media.

-H

Toy Story 3

2010-07-01T12:08:00.003-04:00

You know how people have a thing against sequels? People just think that if a movie's a sequel it's automatically going to be terrible. And in many cases, they're right. But Toy Story 3 is a major exception. Not only was Toy Story 3 a good sequel, I feel that it may possible be better than the first two. It is, for sure, the best movie of the year so far and will be popular with audiences for many years to come.

The plot of Toy Story 3 is absolutely heart-wrenching. Andy is all grown-up now and is preparing to go to college. We see the process of Andy growing up: of iPods and laptops replacing dolls and blocks, and of beloved toys ending up in the bottom of toy chests or in the attic. Once the montage of Andy's growing up is finished, Andy is forced to decide what to do with all of his old toys: college, attic, or trash. After some animated mishaps the toys all believe Andy means to through them away and somehow end up being donated to the Sunnyside daycare, where a seemingly kind old bear takes them under his big furry arms and shows them the joys...and horrors...of daycare life. The plot seems simple enough, almost too close to the plot of the second film, but something made this movie stand out. Something made this movie heart-breakingly amazing!

Since this is an animated movie I can't comment on the actual acting, however, the voice acting was incredible as was the actual artistry of the animation. Sticky to the roots of the first two movie, Tom Hanks does the voice of Woody and Tim Allen portrays Buzz. The two interact with each other, verbally, like old pals and the animation of the facial expressions is so realistic it's almost eerie. You forget, even though the animation isn't as "real" looking as some animation of late, that you're not looking at real toys, real living toys, interacting and talking to each other. All of the toys look so real, and adorable! Even the ones that are a little bit, on the, well, *SPOILER*, evil side.

Toy Story 3 will make you cry. You will cry for Woody who misses Andy and longs to get back to him, you will cry for Andy who must part with his childhood friends, you will cry because you know this is the end. The amazing story of toys that come to life when their owner isn't around is over. Pixar shoots straight to the heart with this movie. They know how to make you fall in love with the characters and then how to break your heart. However, as with any, G-rated Pixar film, there is always a silver-lining. While it may not be the happiest of endings, the ending of Toy Story 3 will make you smile and maybe even cry because of how tender the final moments are.

Toy Story3 is a family friendly movie that children of any age will enjoy. But this movie wasn't made for the children. It was made for those who were children in 1995, when the first Toy Story came out. This movie is finishing a story that was started many years ago and anyone who loves the first two movies will love Toy Story 3.

-H

If People In Horror Movies Only Knew

2010-06-15T13:59:00.003-04:00

Okay, so everyone knows that horror movies are, well, kind-of, sort-of, stupid. And sometimes it's not the movie itself that is so stupid, but the characters in the movie. According to Scream, there are certain rules that you must follow in order to survive a horror movie. Personally, I love horror movies and I think that I would probably survive though the movie, or at least be one of the last people to die. Because of my love of horror movies, I've compiled a list of rules, along with some of the rules in Scream, that will help you survive a horror movie.

The first, and most basic rule, is simple: Always be aware of your surroundings. This can mean many, many things. First off this means stay sober. Don't drink or do drugs because both can seriously hinder your senses. When you're under the influence of any substance your mind cannot function properly and it will not register that you are in any danger, even when the mask killer is stalking you around the house. Secondly, this means always watch where you're going. When you're being chased by the killer, ruin around the big ditches and roots and branches. It will seriously hurt your chances of surviving if you can't stand up long enough to run away. Lastly, this rule means exactly what it says, be aware of where you are. If you're going into a big, scary, empty house check the closets before settling down with your headphones in your ears with the music so loud you can't hear the pounding footsteps of the killer coming up to slash your throat from behind. If you're about to get into a car check the back seat for knife-wielding maniacs. Also be aware of all possible hiding places, just in case you cannot run from the masked killer.

Rule number two is this: Do not have sex. There are several reasons for this rule. The first reason relates loosely to rule number one. While having sex, you cannot be completely aware of your surroundings. The second reason to not have sex in a horror movie is a little less complicated: the killer doesn't like people having sex. Most masked maniacs kill because of some deep-seeded sexual fears or repression so they absolutely hate to see anyone else having sex. Sex basically equals death in horror movies.

Rule number three: Always run. For some reason, people in horror movies always think their best bet is to hide. Whether it be in a closet, under a bed, or in an attic, people think it's a good idea to lay around and wait to be brutally hacked up. However, pretty much anybody, even if they aren't the fastest runner will have better chances of living by trying to out run their killer rather than hiding from them. It seems like people think these killers are deaf and blind. If the killer sees you go into a room and follows you in, your best bet would be to climb out the window or run out another door. Because if you just hide in the room, the killer will a) know you're in their, b) will hear you breathing, and c) eventually be able to find you and murder you because there are only so many places in one room that you can hide. However, if you're going to run make sure you follow rule number one and watch where you're going.

Rule number four: Never run up the stairs. Just don't do it. It's like running in to a death trap. I don't care if the killer is blocking the foot of the stairs. Run at him, full-speed, kick him in the crotch and get out that front door. Either way you look at it, going upstairs will probably get you killed. Once you're up the stairs there are only two ways that it could turn out. One, you get up the stairs, undoubtedly try to hide, and are corned and killed. Two, you get up the stairs and then try to jump out the window. This may seem like a good idea at the time, but in reality, the jump itself may kill you, and if it doesn't it might just injure you enough that you can no longer run from the masked killer. There is a third way running upstairs could end up, but it's very unlikely. If you do have to run up the stairs, and I mean there is no possible way around it, hide in a place that is close to the stairs and easy to get out of, then run down the stairs after the killer has come up and go straight out the door. Never stay upstairs for a long period of time because it will kill you.

Rule number five: Hold on to your tools. Everyone in horror movies have some sort of tools to work with. Whether it be a weapon like a gun or knife or something else helpful like a cell phone, everyone has something that might help save their lives. For some reason, people in horror movies think that if a cell phone has no signal it's completely useless or if a gun runs out of bullets they should just throw it to the ground. Hold on to everything that you can that doesn't slow you down. Cell phones can lose signal in one place and pick it up again a few feet away. And guns can be used as a weapon even after you've run out of bullets so don't throw it down.

Rule number six: Double tap. Heck, triple tap. Tap as much as you possibly can. Just because he looks dead doesn't mean he actually is. So don't let his playing dead fool you. It takes a lot to kill a psychotic killer. And since most horror movies have supernatural killers, it might take so much that you might not actually be able to kill him, just wound him enough for you to get away. But never shoot the killer once and assume he's dead. Shoot him ten times and assume he's still alive.

The final rule for surviving a horror movie is less a rule and more a way of life. First off, be a girl. Guys, I know you have no control over that, but you can at least act a little more feminine or something. But, honestly, it is very unlikely that a man, other than the killer, will make it through a horror movie. Secondly, be a boyish girl. Killers don't like girly girls. And it's easier to kill someone who's trying to run in heels and who doesn't know how to use a gun than a tomboy in tennis shoes. Third, be questioning. Be suspicious of everyone and everything, because it's not safe to trust anyone, not even your friends. These three qualities are the marking quality of the final girl. The one that survives and either kills the killer or injures him enough to get away. The final girl is like a boy. She's smart, she savvy, and she knows how to work tools and weapons and cars. And she almost always lives.

So, there you go. If you ever find yourself in a horror flick, follow these rules and, if you're female, you might just live. And, even if you are male, you may still have a chance as long as you follow the horror movie rules to the word. And don't try to be a hero. And most importantly, always double tap.

-H

The Worst Movies I've Ever Seen

2010-06-11T18:22:00.015-04:00

Every where you look you can find a list of the best movies ever made or the most critically acclaimed movies. So, I thought maybe it would be fun to do something that's a little different. So, I've decided to make a list of the five worst movies that I have ever seen. Some of the movies that I dislike the most are movies that I actually turned off before they ended. However, I will limit myself to movies that I actually finished watching. So here's a list (in no particular order) of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Candyman (1992)

Candyman is a horror movie about a supernatural force that kills people who go into a dark room and say "Candyman" five times. The movie, which could have been interesting

if it had been done well, was boring and, frankly, stupid. The visuals weren't scary enough and the acting wasn't good enough for this to even be considered a funny B-grade horror movie. It just wasn't any good. The movie was written by Clive Barker which gave me high hopes that this movie would be a good scare. However, about thirty minutes in I realized that it was actually a major let down.

Norbit (2007)

Eddie Murphy used to be a funny guy. He truly did. But, his funniness has slowly gone away over the last few years. His movies, particularly his kids movies, just keep getting worse and worse. However, Norbit is probably the worst Eddie Murphy movie ever made. I can't believe I actually watched this whole movie. The movie is about a skinny guy, played by Eddie Murphy, who is engaged to a HUGE woman, also played by Eddie Murphy, who meets a pretty woman who he wants to leave the other Eddie Murphy for. Now, just re-read that a few times and you'll understand how terribly unfunny this movie was. I didn't smile or laugh at all, the entire time. It would have been more entertaining to sit and stare at a blank TV screen. This movie was probably the biggest waste of time ever.

The Forgotten (2004)

The Forgotten is a science fiction/thriller/horror movie that was completely ridiculous. The Forgotten is about people who are told that their children never existed. They then begin to remember that they did, in fact, have children in the past. Then the movie turns into some sort of weird government conspiracy and alien thing. It just didn't make any sense. Part of me thinks it was meant to be scary, while the other part of me thinks, maybe, just maybe, it was meant to be a comedy because it is so stupid it's actually a little funny. But not funny enough to make it worth watching. This movie is NOT worth watching.

Date Movie (2006)

Date Movie was such a waste of time that even writing this review of it is a waste of my time. So, I'm not going to write a review of it. All I'll say is that it's stupid and pointless and should never be watched by any one because by watching this movie people are supporting the people who make these dumb movies and these people should not be supported.

Well, there are the four worst movies I've ever seen. My recommendation is that you don't even waste your time with these movies because they are not worth it! If you're in need of some movies to watch scroll through the blog and find some movies that are actually good!

-H

Get Him to the Greek

2010-06-06T18:39:00.004-04:00

Get Him to the Greek is a hilarious comedy that is a spin-off of the even more hilarious Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Get Him to the Greek, which has already been compared to last summer's hit The Hangover, stars Russel Brand as an out of control and over the top rock star who has lost his way. Jonah Hill plays Aaron Green, a young men working int he music industry. Aaron comes up with an idea to help out his company by getting Brand's character, Aldous Snow, to play a ten year anniversary concert at The Greek. The movie goes on to depict Aaron's and Aldous' journey from London to L.A.

Get Him to the Greek is not your everyday raunchy, sex comedy. While it has many gross-out and sex related jokes, it also has some truly hilarious situations. The humor and jokes are unique, as are the characters. Aldous Snow may be the funniest character I have ever seen in a movie. He is a washed-up, burnt-out, slightly psychotic rock star who knows how to have fun. And watching a friendship between Snow and the uptight Green, who is so whipped by his girlfriend that he would even, willingly, watch 100 hours of Gossip Girl, grow is just fun and hilarious. The two have a chemistry on screen that is hard to find between two grown male actors and it is so cool to just watch them interact. The two are great on screen together but they both are equally as great on their own. Jonah Hill is just a sweet, funny teddy bear. He seems completely harmless. Russel Brand is a wild mess and I just can't help but love both of them. The film is also peppered with a variety of other celebrities. P!nk, Tom Felton, Meredith Vieira, Christina Aguilera, Mario Lopez, and Rick Shroder all make appearances throughout the film. The one celebrity who really stole the show, however, was P. Diddy who plays Aaron's crazy boss Sergio. Every scene P. Diddy was in was laugh out loud funny. There was one scene, involving something called a Jeffrey and a bunch of furry walls, actually had me laughing so hard I felt sick. However, for every absolutely hilarious scene, there was a scene that just didn't flow with the movie. Some things just felt so out of place or they just didn't seem to fit. But these scenes did not damage the film's humor.

Be warned, however, this movie isn't just all laughs. It actually has a little bit of a message. So if you're going to this movie purely for laughs you might be a little disappointed. But if you can look past these few moments, then this movie is mostly laugh out loud funny for the entire 109 minutes. However, don't go into this film expecting it to be just like Forgetting Sarah Marshall because it is an entirely different type of comedy.

-H

Sorry!

2010-05-06T19:11:00.002-04:00

Hey everybody. Sorry it's been so long since we last posted. J and I have both been so busy with school and exams and papers and everything! I know it's been awhile since we posted and we've seen SO many good movies! (And just so everybody knows, Kick-Ass is an AMAZING movie) So, I'm really sorry we haven't been writing, but just wait a little bit longer. J and I both will be out of school for the summer very soon and I promise we'll both start writing again. Thanks for your support and for continuing to look through our blog! :)

-H

Fantastic Mr. Fox

2010-03-25T17:51:00.003-04:00

Fantastic Mr. Fox is a movie about a fox who has a bad habit of stealing chickens and turkeys and other birds. When Mr. Fox and his wife got married, he promised her that he would start a new way of life, get a real job, and stop stealing. But once they move into a new tree, he starts to steal again from the three biggest farmers in the town. After he begins to steal from them, he gets them upset and the farmers come after him and his community.

Fantastic Mr. Fox is a very cute stop motion movie. The animation is cute but something about it is really crude. With the recent improvements in animation, all animation appears very realistic and pretty. But Fantastic Mr. Fox isn't like that. It doesn't rely on pretty pictures like most animated films. It relies on the story and plot. The animals look real in some ways and sometimes they even look like stuffed animals. They're cute but also kind of savage and dirty, like real animals. Another great thing about the animation was the attention to detail. Everything worked and fit together perfectly and everything was very detailed, like the fur and paws.

The story is very good. It is well written and exciting, even intense at some points. Most animated are cutesy, but Fantastic Mr. Fox is more than that. Like most animated movies, Fantastic Mr. Fox has a point or life lesson. The lesson Mr. Fox learns is that he needs to stop caring so much about what he wants to have and more about what he already has like his wife and child.

The "acting" in Fantastic Mr. Fox is also very good. George Clooney is the voice of Mr. Fox. He does the voice very well and makes it sound like a fox. Meryl Streep plays Ms. Fox and also does a good job. But, I think, both Clooney and Streep got off easy. The script of Fantastic Mr. Fox gave them plenty to work with. The script was beautifully written with some truly hilarious lines and scenes. However, part of me doesn't think the movie was truly written for children. The director, Wes Anderson, is known for more crude and adult movies. But his venture into the realm of children's film worked very well for him, but he didn't completely leave the adult world. The animals in the movie deal with some adult situations like lying and stealing. And the animals do like to cuss, however they never actually say a cuss word. Whenever they cuss they actually say the word "cuss." It's cute, but not necessarily child friendly.

Fantastic Mr. Fox was nominated for an Oscar, but I think it was truly looked over by the public. Hardly anyone has seen this movie, but it's probably one of the best that came out last year. It's a fun and entertaining movie that can be enjoyed by the whole family.

-H

Oscars!

2010-03-08T19:23:00.003-05:00

Well, it's official. The Oscars have been aired and there were some shocking wins and some shocking losses. Some great moments and some not so great moments.

Here is the list of winners for the bigger awards followed by some of my thoughts about the winners.

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker

Best Actor in a Leading Role: Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart

Best Actress in a Leading Role: Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side

Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker

Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Mo'Nique in Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Christopher Waltz in Inglourious Basterds

Best Screenplay: The Hurt Locker

Best Animated Film: Up

Well, I'll start by saying that I have only seen four of the ten nominees for best picture so I may have a bit of a bias in my opinions. The four I have seen are Up, Inglourious Basterds, Avatar, and An Education. I have not seen The Hurt Locker so I cannot say whether or not is deserved to win best picture. I don't know if it did or not, but I will let you know after I watch it. I have seen Inglourious Basterds and I feel that it should have won an award for something. I would have been ecstatic to see it win best picture and I would have loved to see Quentin Tarantino win Best Director. However, I must say that it does make me happy that Kathryn Bigelow one. It's about time a woman one for best director and hopefully her win will open the category up for even more female directors. The main thing, however, I think the Academy got wrong was the Best Actress award. I have not seen The Blind Side so I cannot truly make an unbiased decision, but I do think that it is almost disgraceful that someone could win an Oscar and a Razzie in the same week. I know it wasn't for the same movie, but it's besides the point. Sandra Bullock is not the best actress that was nominated. I truly feel that Carey Mulligan did an amazing job in An Education and, even though she wasn't even nominated, I think Diane Kruger was just fantastic in Inglourious Basterds. The Academy didn't get everything wrong though. Up winning best animated picture was one obvious yet exciting part of the night. Up was an amazing movie and it definitely deserved to win. Another appropriate win was Christopher Waltz who played a Nazi obsessed with hunting Jews in Inglourious Basterds. He was incredible and truly deserved to win.

The Oscars was a fun-filled night and both Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were great hosts and made the night funny and enjoyable. Anyone who missed last nights show can catch up on all of the winners at imdb.com

What are your thoughts on the Oscars? Did the Academy get it wrong or am I just bias? Comment and let me know!

-H

Garden State

2010-02-24T19:03:00.003-05:00

Zach Braff's film Garden State was an interesting movie. Not the typical movie you see. I'm not quite sure to describe it but I guess I'll try. The movie is about a young man whose goes back home after being away for nine years due to the death of his paraplegic mother. While there, he meets a young girl who is a chronic liar and who has epilepsy. Then he goes with the girl and his best friend on a search around the town for his going away present.

Not only was Braff the director of this film, but is also played the main character. And he did a surprisingly good job too. His character was a very calm, quiet, hurting man and Braff portrayed all of his emotions so well. It was almost beautiful. While watching him on screen, you could see the hurt and distress in his eyes. Natalie Portman, who plays, Sam, also did a fantastic job with her part. She was bubbly and giddy and exciting and fun to watch. You could feel her happiness coming through the screen and you could feel her pain when she was hurting. The two also had a strange yet intriguing on screen chemistry. They were a strange couple, not just the actors but also the characters, but they worked. Their relationship seemed realistic and they seemed like they truly enjoyed each other's company and that they truly had feelings for each other. Their chemistry made for a very interesting movie.

The movie was very strange. The plot was not the normal movie plot and for being a movie with such famous actors it all felt very indie. And there was also a strong resemblance between Portman's character and Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind which came out the same year. And I think that's one of the reasons I enjoyed the movie so much. It had a very indie and artistic vibe that made it really interesting to watch. It was artsy but not to the point where it didn't make sense or wasn't enjoyable. It was just artistic enough to really have a point and to hit close to home. It's just one of those movies where you know that it has some meaning behind it. Even if at first you don't know what that meaning may be. And it took me a little while to figure out what I think it means, but now I think I know. I think the meaning behind the movie is life is too short. You must do what makes you happy and reconnect with the ones who you love and who love you. And that's why I really liked this movie. Most movies these days don't have any true meaning, but Braff's Garden State is different. It means something and it's interesting and entertaining too.

-H

Shutter Island

2010-02-24T18:45:00.003-05:00

Martin Scorsese's new film Shutter Island is number one at the box office right now and is well liked by viewer's and critics alike. It tells the story of a young detective who goes to investigate the disappearance of a young woman from an insane asylum on Shutter Island. Once there he realizes that there are some really strange things going on at Shutter Island. Including some medical experiments and dangerously insane inmates who are locked up in cell block C. The plot is a little strange but is very interesting and entertaining.

The young detective, Teddy Daniels, is played by Leonardo DiCaprio. This is DiCaprio's fourth movie with the famous director Martin Scorsese. Many say that this movie is one of Scorsese's worse. I cannot comment on that because I have only seen one other movie by Scorsese, The Aviator. But I do think that The Aviator was far worse than Shutter Island, because I actually liked Shutter Island. But anyway, Leonardo DiCaprio is an amazing actor as usual and plays the part perfectly, with extreme emotion and realism. The touching story also create a very emotional movie. DiCaprio, however, isn't the only great actor from the film. Ben Kingsly does an equally good job playing the lead doctor at the asylum.

Shutter Island is one part crime thriller and one part artistic statement. It teeters between mainstream thrills and drama and artistic flashbacks and dream sequences that are not only beautifully done, but are essential to the main plot, so pay close attention! There are also many shocking and thrilling scenes because, truly, there is nothing scarier than a crazy person. I wouldn't necessarily call Shutter Island a horror movie, but it does shock.

Since the movie is so new, I won't give away the ending. But I must say something. This movie is full of twists and turns that will keep the viewer on the edge of their seat and guessing till the very last shot. However, the ending is somewhat predictable. And when I say somewhat, I truly mean somewhat. While watching the movie I guessed part of the ending. However, J guessed another part of the ending. Together we figured out a good bit of the ending, but still not all. And that's one of the things that makes this movie good. You may be able to figure out part of the ending but I honestly doubt that anyone could figure out every last bit.

-H

Dear John

2010-02-12T10:22:00.003-05:00

With Valentine's Day just a few days away I thought I'd write a review for a movie many couples will probably be seeing this weekend: Dear John. Dear John is about a young man in the military who meets a girl. The two fall in love and spend an amazing time together before he is deployed to Iraq, right before 9/11. The movie is based loosely on the Nicholas Sparks book by the same title which I haven't read, however, I've heard that the book and movie are a little different and many people who have read the book do not like the movie as much. I can't comment on that because I haven't read the book, but I did enjoy the movie.

I'm not usually a chick flick lover, but I have a special place in my heart for Nicholas Sparks books and movies. Dear John is no exception. The movie was extremely sweet and romantic and I'm sure most women will enjoy it. Men, on the other hand, may not like it so much. The movie is made for women. It's sappy and so romantic that many men will probably just sit and role their eyes while their girlfriends cry their eyes out: at least that's what happened when I went to see it. But, anyway, the movie itself was not amazing. But it did have so redeeming qualities. The plot was actually very interesting. Many romance movies are very predictable and at first glance this one appears predictable too. But Dear John actually surprises with a few twist and turns that will make almost anyone cry.

Another redeeming quality was the chemistry between Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried. The two were just amazing together. The way they looked at each other and the way they delivered their lines seemed so real, as if they were really a couple. The chemistry between the two whenever they were on screen together was just incredible. They both performed so strongly. They truly played their characters. They showed emotion and gave a tear-jerking and wonderful performance.

The thing I didn't like about the movie, however, was the ending. While it was realistic, it just left you without any answers. It made me feel almost like I had just wasted an hour and a half even though I loved the rest of the movie. The ending was just not fulfilling. Everything else about the movie was pretty good though.

Guys, if your girlfriend wants to see this, don't whine and complain. Take her. The movie isn't just a romance movie. It shows some cool scenes with the military and you even get to see a pretty cool explosion. And, also, if you take her to see this you'll definitely gets some brownie points because it is a real chick-flick.

Happy Valentine's Day!

-H

Oscar Nominations

2010-02-02T12:47:00.003-05:00

Well, the Oscar nominations have been released! And some seem reasonable, and some not so much. So here are just a few of the nominations.

Best Picture:

Avatar

The Blind Side

Up in the Air

Inglourious Basterds

District 9

The Hurt Locker

An Education

A Serious Man

Precious

Best Actor in a leading Role:

George Clooney in Up in the Air

Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart

Colin Firth in A Single Man

Morgan Freeman in Invictus

Jeremy Renner in The Hurt Locker

Best Actress in a leading Role:

Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side

Helen Mirran in The Last Station

Carey Mulligan in An Education

Gabourey Sidibe in Precious

Meryl Streep in Julie and Julia

Best Director

Quentin Tarantino for Inglourious Basterds

Lee Daniels for Precious

James Cameron for Avatar

Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker

Jason Reitman for Up in the Air

So, what do you think? What movies were missed and what/who doesn't even deserve to be there? Personally, I feel that Avatar doesn't deserve the Best Picture nomination or the best directing. It was a good film, but the story wasn't that amazing. Maybe The Hangover should go in it's place?

I also think that Brad Pitt deserved a Best Actor nomination for Inglourious Basterds. Why did he not get one? Who knows, but I do feel that he deserves one. But, I suppose it doesn't really matter what I think. What do y'all think about the nominations?

True Blood (Season 1)

2010-01-24T20:27:00.005-05:00

Okay, so I know that this is a movie review blog and we don't typically write reviews for television shows. However, this weekend I had the pleasure of watching the entire first season of the hit show True Blood. True Blood is about a young girl named Sookie who lives in a small Louisiana town. At this time, vampires are "coming out of the coffin" and trying to live among people and drink a type of synthetic blood called TruBlood to survive. One night, Sookie meets vampire Bill outside of the bar she works at and the two begin a magical relationship.

True Blood is the grown up Twilight. Only True Blood has one thing that Twilight doesn't: vampires. Some of you may be saying, "Isn't Twilight all about vampires?" And my answer to that is NO. Not by any means. The vampires in True Blood don't sparkle in sunlight, they burn to a crisp. The vampires in True Blood don't hide away from humans, they live among them no matter how dangerous that might be fore them. The vampires in True Blood don't play baseball in an open field when a bunch of evil vampires are after them, they play Wii Golf. Well, that last one isn't very intimidating but you get my point. True Blood has True vampires. However, the dialogue in True Blood does resemble that of Twilight, but it's just so much cooler when it comes out of the mouth of a REAL vampire.

Another reason True Blood is MILES better than Twilight is the acting. Anna Paquin, Sookie, and Stephen Moyer, who plays vampire Bill Compton, are absolutely incredible. Paquin is a delight to watch on screen. She seems to really enjoy her role and her fear and anger and joy just flies off the screen. Moyer is also an extreme delight. He seems to sincere and he plays the vampire perfectly. Robert Pattinson has nothing on this man. Moyer is incredibly suave and sexy and alluring, just like a vampire should be. Nelsan Ellis, who plays Layfayette, is also an absolute joy who brings the comic relief in every episode so far.

The plot of True Blood is also very exiting. It has everything an exciting drama should have sex, violence, drugs, and murder. And it's not only vampire fans who'll enjoy True Blood. The story arch of the first season is actually more about a murderer (a human, I might add) than vampires or anything supernatural. However, there are many supernatural aspects to the show that I won't address in the review so I won't give anything away. But if you like murder mysteries or supernatural thrillers True Blood is the show for you. However, don't go into this expecting it to be like the light-hearted Twilight. True Blood is an emotional and dark show that was not meant to be seen by children due to it's extremely violent and sexual content.

The only thing I didn't really like about True Blood is how likable the characters are. Because as soon as you start to really like a character, they're probably about to be killed off. Oh, and one more thing, if you're squeamish about blood, do not watch this show.

-H

The Piano

2010-01-14T22:20:00.005-05:00

A few days ago I had the pleasure of watching Jane Campion's The Piano in class. It's not the kind of movie that I normally watch, being more of the action frame-of-mind, but I very much enjoyed watching this gem of a film. Ada McGrath(Holly Hunter) is a mute woman in 1850s Britain who is sent off to savage New Zealand along with her daughter Flora(Anna Paquin), as a mail-order bride to a land-owner there, Stewart played by Sam Neill. Once there, her new husband, in a bid to increase his land holdings, trades Ada's most prized possession, her piano, to his neighbor, Baines(Harvey Keitel). Ada is naturally upset, but when visiting Baines in order to give him lessons on how to play his new piano, he makes her an offer: sexual favors for the return of her piano.
The Piano is a success on many different levels. Jane Campion, the writer and director of the film, crafted one of the rare films that works as both an accessible story, as well as a layered, meaningful work of art and literature. Watching the film once will be entertaining merely for the well written story, but watch it again and you will see the layers that it has. Jane Campion began her college life with art school. Once there, she realized that she was trying to tell stories with her artwork and that film school would be a better fit for her. With that background in the arts, Campion has a special way of placing the scene in front of the camera(what film students call mise-en-scene) that creates an artistic image to be interpreted by the viewer. The film is a joy to watch because the placement of the scene and of the camera has meaning and beauty all of its own. The story that Campion wrote also is many-layered, portraying gender issues of the nineteenth century, family relationships, and exchanges of power. Many of Campion's films include a tactile quality to them, emphasizing the sense of touch and what it means. Some of the most powerful emotions in The Piano are conveyed by the feel of a piano key.
The writing and direction were not the only good qualities of this film. The acting done by Holly Hunter as the mute Ada is some of the best I have ever seen. Jane Campion, when she made this film, wanted her heroine to have a piercing gaze that seemed to reach down into one's soul. I don't know how Holly Hunter managed to pull that one off, but she did. Though her character is mute, she portrays more emotion in the performance without a single word than ninety percent of actors more well known. Holly Hunter really carries this film with her perfect emotionality. Harvey Keitel also does an above-average job as the at-first lecherous, later not so much Baines.
Overall, The Piano is a film that I would give both of my thumbs-up to, as well as a recommendation to anyone I know.

-J

Lost in Translation

2010-01-02T19:15:00.004-05:00

Sophia Coppola's film, Lost in Translation is one of the rare films that come along and truly depict human interaction. Most of us are used to fairy-tale endings or tragedies. Either the main character fall in love, grow up, get married, and live happily ever after or they meet, fall madly in love, and then one or both of them die before they're even close to getting married. We are also all used to the wild and crazy adventures that people in movies find themselves them: they are either involved in some outrageous scheme or involved in some wild, hot affair or something else completely ridiculous.

Lost in Translation is completely different. It tells the story of Bob Harris played by Bill Murray and Charlotte played by Scarlett Johanson. These two characters are both in a very lonely and desperate place. Bob is a famous actor who has had to leave his family to make commercials in Tokyo. Charlotte is a young woman living with her husband of two years in Tokyo. Her husband is a famous photographer who has to leave her alone while he goes on business trips. Both Charlotte and Bob are alone, in a strange place, with no one to talk to and no one to connect with. So the two of them form a strong bond after the meet in the bar of the hotel where they are both staying. The movie shows how their bond grows over time and how the two become closer and closer to each other and closer and closer to falling in love.

*SPOILER* But nothing happens. They don't have any kind of affair, at least not physically and they don't have some kind of fantastic adventure. They just meet, talk, and then they leave. It's just so realistic it's incredible. Sometimes, I think, movies get to bogged down with all the adventure and glitz and glam. But Lost in Translation is something that could happen and it's something that probably has happened many, many times in real life. And that's what made it incredible.

Lost in Translation was also amazing because of an underlying metaphor. The phrase lost in translation refers to so many different aspects of the film. The obvious aspect of the film that the title refers to is the language barrier between the main character and the Japanese speaking people. Another aspect of the film that the title refers to is the barriers built between the main characters and their spouses. Both seem to have trouble communicating their desires to their spouses which causes trouble in their relationships. The third aspect of the film the title refers to is a barrier between the audience and the characters. In the final scene of the film, Bill Murray's character whispers something to Charlotte and the audience cannot understand what he says. Many of speculated about what the actual line may be but I don't think that it is really important. The ambiguity of the final scenes is open to interpretation which leaves the viewers intrigued and keeps with the realism of the film. In real life, things are not black and white and sometimes we just don't know what's going to happen. And that's what happen in the film. Because we cannot understand that line, we just don't know what's going to happen to the two characters in the future and we can only guess at what may come for the two of them.

Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanson both do a remarkable job at portraying their characters. Johanson portrays Charlotte as calm and collected. Her depiction of Charlotte's sadness and loneliness is beautiful and truly works as does Murray's depiction of Bob's sadness and loneliness. It appears that both actors truly dig deep within themselves and must use some of their own emotions to portray their character so realistically. Anna Faris also appears in a small role and is hilarious as usual.

Lost in Translation is an incredibly enjoyable film. It is a deep and emotional film that will stick with you long after seeing it.

-H

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T18:48:00.005-05:00

Happy New Year to everyone who reads this blog! I hope you all had a magnificent 2009 and have an even better 2010! Continue to read our blog for even more fun and interesting movie reviews. In the upcoming year, there will be MANY new and exciting movies coming out so be looking for reviews of all of these. Here is a short little list of the movies that I'm looking forward to the most that are coming out in 2010:

10. The Chronicle of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Dec. 10 2010)

9. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse ( June 30 2010)

8. The Book of Eli (Jan. 15 2010)

7. Step Up 3-D (August 6 2010)

6. Shutter Island ( Feb. 19 2010)

5. A Nightmare on Elm Street ( April 30 2010)

4. Dear John ( Feb. 5 2010)

3. Toy Story 3-D ( June 18 2010)

2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I (Nov. 19 2010)

1. Alice in Wonderland ( March 5 2010)

Look for reviews of all of these movies and many more in 2010!

Happy New Year

-H

Orphan

2009-12-29T19:51:00.004-05:00

When I first saw the trailer for Orphan I was very excited to see it. Then I found out what the ending to the movie was and decided that I could wait to see it because all of the surprise had been taken out. But then I decided to go ahead and watch it and was actually very surprised out how good it really was.

Orphan tells the story of a young couple who are trying to adopt a child after losing their third child. The couple goes to a girls home where the meet the charming and brilliant Esther. They eventually decide to adopt the young girl and they do all that they can to make her feel like she is part of the family. Initially she gets along with all of them, but as time passes it becomes apparent that Esther doesn't want to become part of their family because, by the time she's threw with them, they won't have a family at all.

The plot of Orphan is actually very smart. I found out the "twist" ending before hand and thought that it was pretty stupid. However, after seeing the movie, I found that my initial thoughts were wrong. The ending proved to be very smart and worked well the entire film. Even though I knew it was coming, the way the character in the film reacted to the shocking twist still surprised me and I'm positive if I hadn't known the surprise ending that I would have been absolutely floored by the ending. The film is very emotional, but I wouldn't necessarily call it scary. The aspect of the plot dealing with the death of the couples child was sad enough that it almost made me cry and many of the parts with Esther are very frightening. Every time Esther came on camera the scene automatically became suspenseful. The writers made her character absolutely terrifying. Her actions are horrifying, especially for a child, and it will make your skin crawl to see just how evil this young girl can be.

The acting in this movie was very good. All of the actors did and incredible job, but I must say that there were two actresses who were absolutely brilliant: Isabelle Fuhrman and Aryana Engineer. At twelve years old, Fuhrman out-acted every other person in this film. The young actress played the terrifying Esther perfectly. Being a die-hard horror fan, I've always wanted a truly terrifying female killer, and I found that killer in Esther. Fuhrman used her facial expressions to make Esther appear charming and sweet in one scene and then absolutely evil and insane in another. And her ability to fake a Russian accent for the entire film was absolutely incredible. The accent seemed realistic and made the film even scarier. Eight year old Engineer was also an amazing actress. Engineer plays the hearing-impaired daughter of the couple who is tricked into helping Esther kill. Engineer is hearing impaired in real life so this role was perfect for her. Even at eight she was completely believable and played her part incredibly. Her portrayal of fear towards Esther was beautiful as was her portrayal of love toward Vera Farmiga who played her mother. All of the actors in the film did an exceptional job, but these two young girls were just incredible.

Orphan is a film that sounds stupid when you first hear about it, but it turned out to be an incredible film. It wasn't necessarily scary, but the idea of allowing a child into your home and then that child trying to hurt you and your family is terrifying. Orphan is one of the best American horror films that has come out this year and I would recommend it to anyone who loves horror films.

-H

Jennifer's Body

2009-12-19T19:23:00.004-05:00

Jennifer's Body is one of those films that you'll either love or hate. And to my surprise I loved this movie. Starring the beautiful Megan Fox and the quirky Amanda Seyfried, Jennifer's Body is quirky and scary and funny and gory. And it works. The movie has a simple enough plot: a indie-rock band sells their souls to the devil to become as famous as "the guy from Maroon 5." So to make an impression on Satan, the have to sacrifice a virgin. So they hold a mini-concert at a dirty bar in Jennifer (Fox) and Needy's (Seyfried) hometown. The band charms Jennifer and then their "magic" sets fire to the bar. In all the confusion, the lead singer of the band, Nikolai, played by Adam Brody, convinces Jennifer to get into his van. And after that night, Jennifer is just not the same. Young guys from the town begin showing up eaten and Needy notices that her best friend keeps acting weirder and weirder.

When this movie first came out, I was discouraged to hear that many of the top critics gave it bad reviews. However, I decided to go ahead and watch it. And I'm so glad that I did. Jennifer's Body is not that bad of a movie. In fact, I would be willing to bet that one day it will be viewed the same way as cult classics like Rocky Horror Picture Show, which is referenced in the film. Jennifer's Body is not a serious movie. In fact, I wouldn't even call it a horror movie as much as a dark comedy. Not that it wasn't scary, because there were some very intense parts, including one scene where Needy meets Jennifer in the kitchen and Jennifer is covered in blood and gore. It just wasn't meant to be seen as a horror movie. It does not, in any way, take itself seriously. It is meant to make people laugh and it is meant to be stupid and corny and, to put it bluntly, completely ridiculous. Because it is. It is an absolutely ridiculous movie, with a ridiculous plot and outrageous dialogue, but it all works. It's surprisingly funny and entertaining, but it will also keep you on the edge of your seat.

But the plot wasn't the only ridiculous thing about this movie. Megan Fox as a cannibalistic demon, really? For some reason I don't think the picked Fox because she is terrifying. But she is gorgeous. And she does play a pretty awesome psycho. And, not to put down Fox, but it seems really realistic. In the movie, Jennifer could get any guy she wanted, even though she was a man-eating demon. Somehow, I think that even if the real Fox was a demon she could get almost any man she wanted. But anyhow, Fox was actually a pretty good actress. She plays the evil type well, and I don't just mean a demon. She was also pretty good in her role as the stuck-up cheerleader. Amanda Seyfried was also surprisingly good. Her emotions were expressed to the audience, so, watching the film, you knew when she was afraid, the majority of the film, and when she was happy, the minority. The chemistry between Fox and Seyfried was pretty incredible too. The two seemed to work really well together and they just seemed to connect. Adam Brody also had a small part in the film as the lead singer of the Satanic indie-band: Low Shoulder. He's only on screen for a brief time, but he does very well with the little part he was given. His character is a gentlemanly psycho and he plays the part exactly the way it should be played. He's charming, yet scary. And good-looking, yet completely insane. The acting wasn't the best that I've ever seen, however, it fits the funny and quirky style of the movie.

The script was also completely ridiculous, yet brilliant. The dialogue is littered with made up words that are supposed to sound like something a teenager would say. However, no teenager actually says stuff like "jello" for jealous or any of the other weird slang words. But it doesn't even matter because the fact that these words are so ridiculous makes the movie even more funny because it seems like the movie itself is aware of how stupid and hilarious it is.

Jennifer's Body is not meant to be a serious, thought-provoking film. It was made to become a cult classic. It was made to make people laugh and to just be fun. I think many critics have lost sight of the fact that a movie doesn't have to be serious and dramatic to be good. Movies weren't made to make people feel lousy and depressed. They were made to make people laugh to give people a source of fun entertainment. And Jennifer's Body succeeds because it does both of those: it makes you laugh and it is impossible to not be entertained by this completely insane and hilarious movie.

-H

The Virgin Suicides

2009-12-13T20:25:00.004-05:00

The Virgin Suicides is the most depressing movie I have ever seen in my life...ever. The Virgin Suicides begins with a young girls suicide attempt. After she is revived, she is taken back to her house where her family tries to help her recover by throwing her a party. At this party, she appears upset and leaves to go upstairs. After several minutes, all the party-goers hear a noise from upstairs and the run outside to see the young girl impelled on a metal fence. This young girl's suicide leads to a horrifying chain of events that ultimately lead to the death of several young girls.

The Virgin Suicides is about four sisters who have survived after their fifth sister's suicide. The four girls are played by Kirsten Dunst, A.J. Cook, Leslie Haymen, and Chelse Swain. All four girls were very good actors and portrayed each sisters' personally beautifully. However, young Dunst's acting stood out. Dunst played the main character, Lux Lisbon, a promiscuous young girl who turns to comfort from sex and smoking after her sister's death. Dunst portrayed Lux amazingly. The character's personality was evident, but Dunst's personality shone through. Maybe it was because she was the only actress I recognized, but Dunst demanded the spotlight in every scene she appeared in and out acted all of her co-workers. However, Josh Hartnett also shone in his performances. Hartnett played the love interest of Lux Lisbon and he, like Dunst, played his character perfectly but also allowed for some of his own personality to shine through.

Suicides was a very well-written movie. The pacing was perfect and the music built up suspense at the perfect rate. During the entire film I was left sitting on the age of my seat wondering what would happen next and I was never disappointed because something interesting always happened.

The Virgin Suicide is the most depressing movie I've ever seen, but I would recommend it to anyone. Obviously, the main plot is centered around teen suicide so I would only recommend it to mature viewers, but anyone who can handle the depressing plot should experience this movie.

-H

The Box

2009-12-13T20:00:00.004-05:00

Written and directed by Richard Kelly, director of my favorite movie Donnie Darko, The Box is an action-packed thrill ride that will make complete sense to some people and no sense to others. The Box tells the story of a young couple who are going through a rough patch financially. Then, early one morning, a strange box arrives on their doorstep. Later that day a man shows up at their house and tells them that if they press a button located on top of the box then they will receive one million dollars, but someone, who they don't know, will die. They are given 24 hours to make their decision and *SPOILER ALERT* they eventually decide to go ahead and push the button. The rest of the movie goes on the show the consequences of their actions. By pushing the button, they opened the door to a number of strange and dangerous encounters with employees of the man who delivered the box.
The Box markets itself as a nice psychological thriller. However, as the movie continues it becomes more and more science fiction. And I'm not complaining. Without the sci-fi influences in the plot, it would have been a cookie-cutter drama about a young couple facing hardships, but by having alien encounters and sci-fi references the movie becomes so unique it will be remembered for years to come.

The acting wasn't the best I've ever seen, but it wasn't bad at all. Cameron Diaz and James Marsden both perform beautifully. There is a real chemistry between the two on film and they both portray the fear and confusion of the characters realistically. However, the acting was nothing special. And the other actors were not as convincing as these two. Most of the performances given by the actors with smaller parts seemed either unrealistic or very forced.

The Box was not an amazing movie, but it was better than I expected. Donnie Darko is the best science fiction movie I have ever seen, but I still didn't think that this movie could possibly live up to it. And I was right, it didn't. But it still is worth the watch. There were a few pretty disturbing parts and even a few parts that may make a few of you jump out of your seats. However, my favorite thing about the movie has nothing do with the acting or even the plot. My favorite thing about the movie was it's portrayal of the famous Arthur C. Clarke quote: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

-H

Becket

2009-12-03T23:12:00.002-05:00

Becket is something of a lost classic. Nominated for 12 academy awards, including best picture, best director, best supporting actor and two best actor nominations. Sadly, the film only won one of these awards, that being the award for best screenplay based on another medium. All of the others were snapped up by the vastly inferior My Fair Lady. The story centers around the lives of two men, Thomas of Becket and King Henry II of England played by Richard Burton and Peter O'Toole. The two are best friends, until Henry names Becket as his new archbishop of Canterbury. After this, the relationship between the to men quickly goes downhill, until Henry II hates Becket and wishes him dead.
The story is well-thought out and well-paced. Even though the film lasts over two-and-a-half hours, none of it was fat that could have been cut off. My interest rarely dropped, even though the movie has very little action and is moved along mainly by dialogue. What held my interest was the acting of two of the greatest actors of their time, O'Toole and Burton. The two play their parts perfectly, Burton as Becket, calm and collected to the end, O'Toole as Henry, slowly going mad with jealousy as his friend puts God before others. It's the perfect coupling, with the two actors duelling both in the story and in their acting. I have to say that O'Toole won the acting duel. I could not imagine any other actor that could have played his part quite the way he did, portraying Henry's conflicting emotions: love for his friend, and hatred for what he sees as his betrayal. In my favorite scene, Henry drinks with four of his nobles. In one scene, within the space of a few seconds, Henry shows his anger and his sorrow without seeming either schizophrenic or crazy. Eventually, Henry tells his men, "Let us drink, gentlemen. Let us drink, till we roll under the table in vomit and oblivion." Then he will not have to worry about his conflicting emotions.
The writing is excellent, the direction is excellent, the acting is excellent, but what really sold me was Peter O'Toole's perfect portrayal of a conflicted man.

New Moon

2009-11-22T20:18:00.004-05:00

This weekend, J being an amazing and wonderful fiance, took me to see New Moon. Before I begin, I want everyone to know that I'm not a big fan of the books. Yes, I have read all four of them )and the 12 chapters of Midnight Sun that were released last year). And yes, I have seen the first movie. And yes, I realize that they changed some things about the books in the movies. And no, that does not upset me. Because the books needed changing. However, this is not a book review so I will leave it at that and begin my review of the second movie in the Twilight series: New Moon.

For those of you who have lived under a rock for the past few years, Twilight is the story of a young girl named Bella, played by Kristen Stewart, and a guy named Edward Cullen, played by Robert Pattinson, who turns out to be vampire. Well, Bella and Edward fall in love and begin the most forbidden romance since Romeo and Juliet. New Moon is the second movie in the series. It begins with Bella's eighteenth birthday party. While opening a present, Bella cuts her finger and bleeds. Chaos ensues as Edward's vampire brother, Jasper, tries to attack Bella. After this Edward decides that it would be safer for Bella if he left her. So he leaves and then she begins hanging out with this guy named Jacob,played by Taylor Lautner, who happens to be a werewolf. And that's basically the whole plot: Who does she love more, Jacob or Edward?

The plot isn't the best ever written, but you can't really blame the director or screenplay writer for that because the book didn't give them much to work with. However, you can blame the screenplay writer for the terrible, and I mean TERRIBLE, dialogue. Honestly, every sentence was completely cliche and unrealistic. No one in the world talks like these characters. And did I mention the melodrama? Everything is so over the top that it ends up being horrifyingly cheesy.

The acting, however, wasn't terrible. Lautner and Pattinson both did very respectable jobs with their characters. The did the best they could with the dialogue and lifeless characters. However, the best actor in New Moon was, by far, Dakota Fanning who plays the horribly evil vampire Jane who can inflict pain on anyone with just one glance. Unfortunately, Fanning only appears in one scene and has very few lines, but she did great with what she had. That being said, I cannot say that all of the acting was good. Because Kristen Stewart was absolutely terrible. She is unconvincing and cannot deliver any of her lines with the same power that Pattinson and Lautner do.

If you are looking for something deep and meaningful then New Moon is definitely not the movie for you. But it is a lot of fun. The scenery is beautiful and the leading men are even more beautiful! Director Chris Weitz did the most he could with the story, and I feel, that he made it even better than the book. New Moon is not the best movie of the year, but it was very enjoyable.

-H

Announcement!

2009-11-19T18:13:00.002-05:00

Dear readers,

I'm so sorry J and I have stopped posting as regularly as we used to. Both of us are in school and with the holidays coming up (holiday season means final exams) we don't have much time for watching movies or writing reviews. I promise as soon as J and I get the time to watch movies again we will write more reviews. Please be patient and, for newer readers, please enjoy reading some of our older reviews. Thanks so much for reading our blog! We appreciate every single one of you!

-H

P.S- Next week is Thanksgiving break so we should have some time to watch some movies so be looking for new reviews next week!

Cruel Intentions

2009-11-12T18:49:00.006-05:00

Cruel Intentions is a very interesting movie. Normally I don't like dramas but Cruel Intentions was an exception because it was very much a drama and I liked it very, very much. The plot was extremely intriguing and sexy. Cruel Intentions tells the story of Sebastian, played by Ryan Phillippe, who is extremely attracted to his step sister, Kathryn who is played by Sarah Michelle Gellar. The two come from a very wealthy family and they are very prominent figures in the New York social scene even though they are only seniors at a prep school. Sebastian is also very popular among the young ladies of New York and has quite a reputation of sleeping around then breaking the girls' hearts. Then Sebastian sees an article about a young virgin who wrote an essay saying that she plans to wait to have sex. Sebastian and his sister Kathryn then decide to make a bet: If Sebastian is able to sleep with this young virgin, then Kathryn will willingly give herself to him and if not she gets his Jaguar. This little bet turns into one of the most interesting movie plots that I have ever experienced.

Let me make this clear, the acting in Cruel Intentions was not amazing. The plot was incredible so the actors had a lot to work with. The dialogue, however, was not and therefore the actors had to work extra hard to make it come off as realistic. Which it never quite did. But that didn't really matter in the end. The entire plot was not very realistic, but both Gellar and Phillippe did a respectable job of being sexy and alluring. They portrayed their characters as realistically as possible and the insanity of everything just made the movie even more interesting. One thing that I must compliment Gellar and Phillippe on is their on-screen-chemistry. The two just play off of each other's strengths and create an amazingly sensual atmosphere.

The smaller roles in the movie are also played my well-known actresses. Annette, the young virgin, is played by Reese Witherspoon. While Cecile, another young woman that Sebastian is trying to seduce, is played by Selma Blair. Blair shows of a somewhat quirky side, while Witherspoon becomes a very romantic and down-to-earth young woman. Both actresses portraying their characters very convincingly and help to enhance the outrageous plot.

Cruel Intentions is a sexy thriller about betrayal and lust with an incredibly depressing and shocking ending. But it is incredibly fun to watch. However, I would only recommend this movie to mature audiences because of it's overtly sexual themes.

-H

Dawn of the Dead

2009-11-02T19:17:00.003-05:00

Recently, J and I watched the remake of the horror classic Dawn of the Dead. Having never seen the original Dawn of the Dead I will not be able to compare the remake to the original. I will say this however, seeing the remake of Dawn of the Dead seriously makes me want to see the original.

Dawn of the Dead is about a young woman, Ana played by Sarah Polley, who wakes up to find that everyone in her town, including her husband who is sharing a room with her, have all turned into zombies. Ana runs out to her car and eventually runs into another group of survivors. All of the survivors gather together and decide that their best plan of action is to hide out inside a shopping mall where the zombies supposedly cannot get to them.

Dawn of the Dead was not what I would call a horror movie. It is suspenseful, yes, but not scary at all. Unless, you're scared of zombies, then you might not want to watch. But anyway, the movie is much more sad than it is, scary. The ending is completely depressing and yet extremely realistic, well as realistic as it can be with dealing with zombies. But you must, must, must watch the credits to see the full ending of the movie. If you turn off the movie before the credits you will completely miss the effect of the ending.

Dawn of the Dead is not the best horror movie I've ever seen. However, it is the best horror zombie flick I've ever seen. I specify horror zombie flick because Zombieland is the best zombie movie I've ever seen but it is no where close to being a horror movie. The gory costumes that the zombie wear in the movie are disgustingly realistic and amazing. The images of legless zombies with half of their faces gone is equally as disturbing and helped to create the tense and unnerving feeling in the movie. However, the scariest thing about the movie was actually one of the very first scenes. Ana wakes up to find that a little girl in her neighborhood has turned into a zombie then witnesses her husband transform into a crazed zombie. The idea that someone you love and care so much about could ultimately be the person who kills you is just too terrifying.

Sarah Polley who plays Ana was a very good actress. Her emotions of fear and sadness were both extremely believable. However, the best actor in the movie, who played one of my favorite characters, was Ving Rhames. Rhames played a tough cop who was the "leader" of the surviving group. He was an extremely believable actor. I could feel his pain when one of his friends was killed and I could also truly feel his anger towards and fear of the zombies.

I would recommend Dawn of the Dead to anyone who likes zombie movies. But you don't have to be a zombie fan or even a horror fan to enjoy the movie. Dawn of the Dead is a well-made, disturbing, and sad movie, but would be a good movie to watch on a rainy day.

-H

A Perfect Getaway

2009-10-26T15:38:00.006-04:00

A Perfect Getaway is one of those rare horror movies that comes along every once in a while that is actually well thought out. J and I watched this a few days ago and I've had time to actually think about the movie and decide whether or not it was good. And I've decided that it truly was. It has a perfectly good plot, nice acting, and pretty amazing dialogue. A Perfect Getaway is about a newly wed couple who take their honeymoon in Hawaii. Once there, the find out about a murder that has taken place on one island and begin to fear for their own lives while hiking a trail on another island. On the trail the couple meets another couple who are also hiking. The two begin to hike together and both become increasingly suspicious of the other until one realizes a horrifying secret about the other couple.

The acting in the movie was actually surprisingly good. Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich play the main newlywed couple and both are actually very convincing. The love the two characters share is obviously shown by the two actors and they share a chemistry that is usually only seen with real couples in love. The other actors in the movie were convincing but not as much as Zahn and Jovovich.

Another amazing aspect of the movie was the dialogue. Every little line was important to the plot. It was incredible! Upon figuring out that the dialogue was so important, I began to pay very close attention to every sentence and also to every picture on the screen. Every little thing gave some clue as to what the twist would be and it's just up to the audience to figure it out! J and I both figured out the twist before the end but it was still surprising. The dialogue and plot were both incredibly well thought out and made for a very good film.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes a thrilling film. It was an entertaining movie that had an extremely well written plot and dialogue. It may not have a lasting effect but it's a fun movie to watch and try to figure out who the real killers are!

-H

Paranormal Activity

2009-10-18T20:38:00.003-04:00

On Friday night at midnight, J and I went to the movie theater expecting to see a good but disappointing movie. I was very, very excited to see Paranormal Activity, but J kept telling me that I would probably be disappointed so I had to bring my expectations down by a lot. I was excited, but prepared for the worst. So, there we were in the theater, at midnight and slowly the theater began to fill up. And then the movie started.

If you haven't heard about this movie, then let me tell you a little about it. Paranormal Activity is director Oren Peli's first film. Filmed in the style of Blair Witch and Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity is filmed with a single, hand-held camera giving off a very realistic, documentary-like feeling. The movie tells about a young couple who move into a house together. After a few unnatural things begin to happen, Micah finds out that ever since Katie, his girlfriend, was a little girl she has been haunted by some sort of spirit. Micah then decides to bring home a nice camera to film the unnatural activity that is happening. After that, literally, all hell breaks loose. The couple discovers that the spirit that plagues Katie is a demon and is looking to destroy her. I won't tell anymore of the plot because then the entire film would be ruined. The movie relies on the fact that the audience has no clue what to expect. Every little bump in the night is a surprise and the movie would not be nearly as scary without the suspense.

The best things about Paranormal Activity were the plot and the actual filming, The way the film was shot was amazing. The movie was made for a mere $11,000 but the filming seemed very professional and well-thought-out. Every shot was made so that the audience would be looking in the background, trying to see something move or change. The day scenes, while not as good as those shot in the dark, were still very impressive. The dialogue between Micah and Katie make the movie very real because they talk like a real couple would talk if a camera was in the room. They fight, argue, make up, and fight again all in front of the camera which makes the movie seem all the more realistic and truly set the stage for the terrifying night scenes. The beginning of the movie is a bit long and boring and all you can do is wait for the night scenes. But at the end of the movie, you will dread the night scenes because they are so terrifying and the day scenes don't bring any comfort either because, by the end, strange things happen during the day too. And then, the ending. All I can say is "Holy crap." I will not say anything else except that the ending will shock anybody who can stay in the theater long enough to see it.

Paranormal Activity is the scariest movie I have ever seen. Ever. And I've seen many, many. many horror movies. And it truly scared me. I could barley go to sleep after watching it. And I wasn't the only one who was scared. If you've seen the previews for Paranormal Activity then you've seen the pictures of the audiences screaming their heads off because of this movie. I was very skeptical about this. I highly doubted that anybody in the theater would even jump or gasp, let alone scream. However, I was mistaken. By the end scene, almost everyone in the theater was screaming, even the grown men. I would guess, though, that Paranormal Activity is best viewed at night. I highly doubt that it would scare anyone who watches it in a brightly lit room in the middle of the day. However, if you do dare to go watch Paranormal Activity at night, then be warned. It has been said that Paranormal Activity is the scariest film since The Exorcist. While I've never understood what was so scary about The Exorcist, I'm sure the people who saw it the first night it was released were terrified. And I believe this will be the fate of Paranormal Activity. Thirty years from now, people will no longer fear things that go bump in the night like the monster of Paranormal Activity, but for now, Paranormal Activity will truly terrify anybody who walks into that theater. Paranormal Activity is the scariest thing I've ever seen and I would recommend it to anyone who doesn't mind shaking in fear and not being able to sleep with the light off for a few nights.

-H

Update!

2009-10-15T20:00:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to thank everyone who went and Demanded that Paranormal Activity be shown in Spartanburg, South Carolina. The movie is actually be released tomorrow in the area and J and I will be going to a showing tomorrow. I will be sure to write a review for the movie as soon as I can after seeing it. Thanks again to everyone!

Trick r Treat

2009-10-12T19:19:00.004-04:00

Trick r Treat is a nice little direct-to-video horror film. The movie tells four different stories that are all set in the same town on one Halloween night. One of the stories tells about a school principal who is a really a serial killer. Another tells of a 22-year-old "virgin" who goes to a party and gets revenge on the man who follows her down a dark road. The third tells of four children who decide to play a mean joke on an outcast girl by telling her the story of the Halloween School bus Massacre. And the last tells of a man with a dark secret who is chased by his personal demons. All of the stories are about different people but an overlying story about an odd little creature with a dirty mask link all of the others together.

Trick r Treat is an intricate film with an amazing plot. All of the stories originally seem to be separate, however, everything is connected together. And the story works in a perfect circle: starting at the beginning, then going back two hours, then going back to the beginning. And the way that the creepy little monster fits into the film is brilliant as is the overlying story of the Halloween School bus Massacre and the missing school bus driver who is haunted by his horrible actions. While watching the movie, I actually guessed who the bus driver was which could have ruined the movie. However, the film makers anticipated this so there is even a bigger twist ending. And this twist ending is sure to shock every viewer because it is truly disturbing.

Usually straight-to-video horror films usually have very weak stories and even weaker acting. However, the actors in Trick r Treat were surprisingly good. All of the actors were truly getting into their dark, evil, and creepy roles bringing the characters to life. Everything seemed very real and genuine which made the film all the more disturbing and enjoyable.

The movie has some disturbing elements including the murder of children and an odd rape-like scene. However, I would not consider the movie scary. Many of the scenes are bordering on humorous and the ones that aren't are just fun to watch. Trick r Treat is a really fun, enjoyable movie that is perfect to watch on a dark and stormy night when it's almost Halloween. Anybody can enjoy this movie, but a true horror fan may finally find a fun and new movie to watch year after year on Halloween night.

-H

Zombieland

2009-10-05T17:47:00.002-04:00

This weekend, J and I saw a movie. But not just any movie, we saw what may possibly be the best movie that has come out this year: Zombieland. Zombieland is the perfect blend of horror, gore, and comedy. The acting was incredible, the gore was disgusting, and the comedy was hilarious!

The movie starts with a montage of zombies chasing after people and eating them. It is incredibly disgusting but also incredibly hilarious. I was laughing so hard and it was only three or four minutes in. Then we are introduced to the main character whose name we don't know. We see him running from zombies and he lists his rules for surviving zombieland. Then, he runs in to Tallahassee, played by Woody Harrelson. Tallahassee is a zombie-fighting machine. Every zombie he meets he kills in brutal, yet hilarious ways.

Speaking of Woody Harrelson, the acting in this movie was incredible. Woody Harrelson was the perfect choice to play the zombie-killing maniac. His crazy smile and wacky attitude fit the role of Tallahassee perfectly. And Abigail Breslin was the perfect pick for the sweet con-artist Little Rock who helps her big sister con the men out of their car and guns.

The acting was complimented by the gory images of zombies eating people and the somewhat scary images of zombies chasing people. But this movie was in no way scary, the comedy really outweighed the scariness and gore. However, there was one scene with a zombie clown that left me cringing.

I would definitely recommend this movie for anybody who wants a good laugh. This movie is, I think, the best movie that has come out this year and I can't wait to go see it again.

-H

Let the Right One In

2009-09-30T07:10:00.007-04:00

Let the Right One In is a Swedish film about a young boy,Oskar, and his love for his neighbor, Eli, who ends up being a vampire. The film is very interesting and different from most horror movies. In fact, I wouldn't even call it a horror film. Despite the violence and mild gore, there was nothing remotely scary about the film. It was more of a love story than a horror film. However, the lack of scariness doesn't make the film any less enjoyable.

The movie is one that many people may find boring. However, I feel that the way everything is drawn out really adds to the suspense of the film. Nothing is really in-your-face and nothing will make you jump, but seeing a young girl brutally attack a man and drink his blood is in itself completely terrifying. The scenery also adds a eeriness to the film. The movie is set is Sweden in the winter, so the entire film takes place in white snow. All the colors, especially the red of the blood Eli drinks, stand out brilliantly against the white background.

However, the blood, the murders, the woman bursting in to flames, and all of the other intense sequences are not what made the film. The acting was incredible. Not the acting of the adults in the film, but the acting of the children was incredible. Both of the children were around 13 when the film was released which means they were even younger during the making of the film. However, the acted as if they had been acting for years. The movie was so intense and passionate, the love between Oskar and Eli so deep and hard to portray, but the two children truly made the film believable. They both out acted the adults and I think if anyone else had been chosen to play either on of these roles the entire film would not have been as good. The bond between Eli and Oskar was shown beautifully by the children and the audience will truly believe that these children are in love.

Let the Right One In is a deeply moving movie. It is not only a film, however, it is a work of art. I would recommend this movie for horror fans but also for fans of romance movies. Just be prepared to witness a very unconventional romance.

-H

Paranormal Activity

2009-09-24T07:40:00.002-04:00

Hey everybody! There's a new movie coming out called Paranormal Activity. It is supposedly the scariest movie since The Exorcist. Even Stephen Spielberg was freaked out by the movie, claiming it was haunted and returning it to the place where he got it. Unfortunately, this is an independent movie so it will not be released in most cities. But you can go to this website and ask for it to appear in a town near you: http://www.paranormalmovie.com. I ask you all to go this website, click the yellow demand it button, and type in Spartanburg, SC. J and I would both love to watch this movie and write an amazing review about it for you. It will only take a few seconds to demand this movie and you can even demand it near you. Thanks for your time!

-H

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

2009-09-22T13:45:00.004-04:00

When I started this post, I almost wrote Monsters Vs. Aliens in the title, instead of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. This mistake would have been understandable, given the similarities between the two. Both are 3d, family-friendly titles with a cast of excellent actors. Monsters had Seth Rogen and Reese Witherspoon, Cloudy has the more underrated, but just as good Bill Hader, Anna Faris and Bruce Campbell. Both movies have well done action sequences with slightly ridiculous elements, though Cloudy ups the ridiculous factor with man-eating chickens and a massive "foodalanche." Overall, the two movies are a lot alike, and almost equal. I would rate Monsters Vs. Aliens slightly higher, but only by a small margin.
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs' strongest point is its voice acting. All of the cast turn in strong performances, even with the smallest parts. Neil Patrick Harris is funny as Steve, the hero's talking monkey, Mr. T is excellent as an overenthusiastic cop, Bill Hader is wonderful as Flint. But voice acting, normally isn't what you go to see a movie for, so for the rest of the film, the 3d was enjoyable, but not really worth the extra money to see. I was surprised how much the studio downplayed the 3d in this movie. I was happy to see that they didn't use it as a gimmick in the film, intentionally making things fly at the screen, like so many movies do. Instead they used it more to just enhance the viewing than anything else. It reminded me of Up, which is just as good, and almost identical in 2d as it is in 3d. Perhaps movie studios are finally getting over using 3d as a gimmick and just maybe we'll see a movie that actually uses the format to its full potential. I'm still hopeful Avatar will be that movie, but I'm skeptical it will ever happen. 3d is most likely doomed to be a gimmick and to die a slow death like it did back in the fifties.
But back to the movie, coming out of the theater, I had a good time, but the movie was still a little forgettable. Apart from the 3d element, I would say that this movie is only a small cut above the average CG movie that comes out every week. Perhaps seeing Up earlier this year spoiled me, but I want something a little more in my movies, even if they are intended for kids. Up was amazing mainly because it was about something and it had a purpose. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is just there. I did enjoy this movie, but only as something fun to take my mind off of life for a little while, nothing more.

-J

Black Christmas

2009-09-20T20:37:00.006-04:00

Black Christmas is another horror remake that J and I have watched recently. I have never seen the original so I cannot compare the two, however, I can say that the remake was completely pointless. The story was stupid and way too confusing for a horror movie of that type. Black Christmas tells about a young man who kills his family after years of abuse, goes to an asylum and the breaks out on Christmas eve to return to his house and reek havoc upon the young sorority sisters who now live in the house.

The movie was extremely gory and shallow. Because of some weird obsession with eyeballs, we get to see many character have their eyes ripped out of the sockets or gouged out or have something horrible happen to them. However, none of the gore was truly satisfying. Everything happened much too quickly. None the murder scenes were drawn out and nothing was very suspenseful. And on top of that, we know who the killer is the entire time. He wears no mask and his face is clearly seen almost every time he pops up. There is absolutely nothing mysterious or creepy about him despite his yellow skin that was caused by a liver disease, and even that bit of information is offered up early on in the film so there is truly nothing disturbing about this supposedly terrifying killer. I must say, however, that there are a few scenes depicting cannibalism that are quite disgusting. I still would not call them creepy though. There was nothing in this movie that was anything close to creepy.

Going into this movie I expected the acting to be the most terrifying aspect of the film. However, the acting wasn't as terrible as I expected. Michelle Trachtenberg and Lacey Chabert have starred in decent films, but horror doesn't exactly seem like their cup of tea. Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Kristen Cloke, on the other hand, have both acted in The Final Destination films that I have seen and enjoyed. However, even a cast of young, pretty girls can't redeem this film. The majority of the acting feels very unreal and shallow, while the actor who played the notorious killer Billy overacted every scene he appeared in.

Black Christmas was only an hour and a half long, however, it felt like it took forever to watch. The ending was unoriginal and the entire plot was completely predictable. It wasn't the worst movie I've

ever seen, but it was no where near being the best.

-H

Eraserhead

2009-09-13T20:51:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of finally seeing the cult classic Eraserhead. I first became intrigued by this movie when I saw that it came in at number three on a list of the most disturbing horror films of all times. Released in 1977, Eraserhead is a movie that is far beyond it's time, in some since. Despite the fact that it was made in the 70's, it was filmed in all black-and-white and lacks the dirtiness and grittiness of most horror films from the era. However, it does not need that grittiness to be on of the most disturbing films I have ever seen.

The beginning of the film is very strange. It feels like a very bad acid trip minus all the bright colors. The film begins with the floating head of a young man and some sort of lumpy, rocky looking structure in the background. On top of that, there is absolutely no dialogue for the first 10 and a half minutes of the film with the only noises being odd, carnival-like music. Not that this movie needed much dialogue at all. IMDB's trivia section on this movie even stated that the film even had trouble with funding because the script for the entire film was twenty pages long. But for anyone who goes to watch this movie, do not be discouraged by the lack of dialogue and the weird beginning. This movie gets much, much, much better.

I really don't want to say much about the plot of the film because I feel that this movie is more entertaining when you are not expecting what will happen next. However, I will say that the movie tells the story about a young man named Henry and his struggle with parenthood and that it will make you never, ever, under any circumstances, want to eat chicken again. But, anyway, it's not just that the movie is better when you don't know what's coming, it's that I couldn't tell you what this film was about even if I wanted too. I have absolutely no idea! Director David Lynch has never revealed to anyone what the meaning of the film is and I doubt he ever will. He has, however, come out and said that no one has even come close with guesses about the meaning. If I had to make an educated guess I would suggest that film is promoting abstinence and displaying the common fear of parenthood. But that's just my guess.

The style of the film is incredibly artsy so if that's not your thing, don't even bother with this film. If you don't mind thinking deep and terribly disturbing thoughts then you may just enjoy it. Many of the scenes are shockingly thought provoking and will make even the most fearless person squirm in their seat. It's not that the images are truly terrifying, the concept of the film (or at least what I believe to be the concept of the film) is on a completely different level than most horror films. It is so much deeper and will truly make you think about life, love, and how sometimes mistakes are made that cannot be fixed and how they can haunt you for the rest of your life.

Eraserhead is by far the most disturbing film I have ever seen, but I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys deep, thought-provoking movies. But be warned, once you see this film you may never be able to erase it from your mind.

-H

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

2009-09-10T17:54:00.005-04:00

I suppose you could say that J and I have been on a horror remakes kick. First it was My Bloody Valentine and now The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. However, my review for this movie will be very different from the one for My Bloody Valentine. Partly because I have actually see the Chainsaw Massacre (and it is one of my all-time favorites) but mostly because this movie actually made sense, unlike My Bloody Valentine. But enough of that. I'll spend the rest of this review comparing the new and old Chainsaw Massacres. I will not bore you with taking a paragraph to summarize the plot because if you do not know this movie then you must have been living in a hole for the last thirty years, but I will say this. The plot in the new movie has been slightly changed. In the original film, the teens are driving through Texas when the meet a strange hitchhiker and pick him up. He goes crazy, pulls out a knife, and then the teens kick him out. After that all hell breaks loose and the bloody mess known as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre ensues.

Now I will discuss the changes made to the remake. The first scenes of the new film are similar to those of the original, however, there are a few minute differences that hardly make a difference to the film. For those of you who've seen the original but not that new film, the brother and sister characters have been replaced by a boyfriend and girlfriend and the crazy guy hitchhiker from the original has been changed to a crazy girl. The change made with the relationship between the characters does absolutely nothing for the plot except for gives it that modern cliche that insists that all relationships are doomed in the horror world. The change from male to female crazy hitchhiker actually worked quite well to escalate the tension of the scene. There is also one more major change that I think actually truly helped the film. This may be considered a spoiler so be warned......okay, for those of you who decided you don't give a crap about spoilers so here it goes: the hitchhiker in the new film actually pulls a gun out from between her legs and shoots herself through the head. This may sound very random, but the girl had previously been sobbing and saying things about "never going back" and other completely terrifying things. Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but the fact that this woman was holding that gun between her legs was equally disgusting and disturbing. But more than that, this suicide actually makes a lot of sense by the end of the film and it really helps to make the characters actions make sense. In the original film, the teens stumble upon this house while looking for gas, then the just walk inside without waiting for anyone to invite them in, the proceed to run around and scream in terror. Now, I'm not dissing the original film: it's one of my favorites and it's a classic. However, I do think that the characters got what they deserved in the original. They were idiots. They trespassed in a strange house in the middle of the country and didn't even think about the fact that they could be walking into the house of a crazed, cannibalistic, chainsaw-wielding family. In the new film, however, the teens come upon the house because they are sent to look or the sheriff so that he could look at the body of the suicide victim. And then when they couldn't find him, they saw the house and went to ask for a phone, where they actually talked to the man who lived there and went inside. Then, the only reason they went inside without permission was to look for their missing friend. So, while their actions were not completely intelligent, they weren't being down-right stupid either.

Okay, moving on. For a horror film of this type (the cliche slasher film) the acting was actually quite impressive. Jessica Biel was the only actor in the film that I recognized and she was the leading role. And she did surprisingly well in this role. Her fear was believable and her screaming was amazing. I mention this because, in the original film, the girl's screaming drove me insane. She didn't even sound scared, she just sounded somewhat bored and possibly even psychotic. So, Jessica Biel was a large improvement.

Now, for the most important subject: Leatherface. In the original, Leatherface was terrifying. He was a purely evil psychopath who choose his victims at random and feasted on them with his half-dead grandpa and other family members. However, the new film gave him a little more depth. We find out in the new film that Leatherface wears his masks made of other people's faces because of a horrible skin condition that he had as a child. While this does explain a lot, I think it takes away from his terrifying demeanor. Watching the film, I found myself feeling quite sorry for him and almost cheering him on. He has always been made fun of because of his skin so he deserves to wear the face of the pretty, young Jessica Biel! It may sound odd, but I think I liked him better when I thought he was just crazy and hungry for some human flesh!

The film also added in some other characters that were kind of strange and irrelevant. Leatherface is given some new family members, including an odd looking young boy and some random women. The women don't play much of a role in the film other than adding some strange sub-plot about the young hitchhiker from the beginning having a daughter who was kidnapped by Leatherface's family. The young boy, however, plays a pivotal role (*spoiler*) by helping Biel's character escape from Leatherface's house.

The ending of the movie was quite exciting. It was a little different from the original but it still worked. All in all, I think The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake did the original film justice. Those who enjoyed the original film should still enjoy the remake, maybe just not as much as the original. And for those who haven't seen the original, the remake can stand alone and be enjoyable for anyone.

-H

My Bloody Valentine

2009-09-05T11:37:00.004-04:00

Okay, so I'll admit. I have never seen the original My Bloody Valentine. I am not sure if I was so confused by this movie because of that fact or if it is just a downright confusing movie. My Bloody Valentine starts out with a series of pictures and newspaper clippings that tell about a mine collapse and the one man who survived. Then it cuts to a hospital where this one many come out of a coma and begins to kill all the nurses. And then it cuts to the mines where a bunch of teenagers are partying on Valentine's Day and we get to see them all killed by this same crazy guy. Now, you would think that this would all be spoilers to this movie, but it's not. All of this happens within the first fifteen minutes of the film. J and I actually thought we may have accidentally skipped to the end of the movie because of all the blood and gore in this first scene, but, no, that's really how the movie starts.

Now to talk about the actual quality of the movie. I'll start my saying this: the dialogue was terrible. Maybe even beyond terrible. The script was so cliche and the presentation of the horrible script was done in an excruciating manner. However, the acting wasn't all bad. The majority of the acting was mind-numbing, but Jensen Ackles, from the TV series Supernatural, did a reasonably okay job. However, I think that even A-list, big name stars couldn't have made this dialogue worth listening too.

Despite all of this, however, the gore was absolutely beautiful. It seemed like throughout the entire film there was extreme violence then about ten minutes of cliche drama then another random scene of extreme violence. It was all slightly random but it worked in this confusing mess of a movie. The violence was brutal and gory and almost redeems this movie. Almost.

My Bloody Valentine was extremely confusing and cliche, but the violence was beautiful. I'm not entirely sure if I would recommend this movie, but I suspect that horror fans who enjoy psychological thrills might at least find the movie somewhat entertaining. I didn't particularly enjoy the movie myself, but it did make me want to see the original to see if it made any more sense than the remake.

-H

Darkon

2009-09-03T13:35:00.001-04:00

I learned something new this week. I have always been a little disdainful of documentaries. I considered them something that old people, like my parents, enjoy watching on PBS. But yesterday was the first time in my life that I watched a documentary purely for enjoyment. I learned that watching a documentary can be a very enjoyable experience, given that you are interested in the film’s subject.

The film that I watched yesterday was Darkon, a very enjoyable documentary centering on the grown men and women that play LARPs, or Live Action Role Playing games. The games are relatively simple in rules, yet complex in execution. All the players are split into nations and races, each player has their own character that they have personally created, and the nations form alliances, go to war with each other, or just peaceably live together. Basically, the game is like creating a separate life for yourself in a fantasy world that you can influence through your actions. The land of Darkon meets one weekend every two weeks with a continuous story and characters. The film Darkon, especially focuses on two men, the leaders of the two major imaginary nations in the play world . These two nations begin at peace, but through the course of the film, relations begin to strain, until it seems like war is the only option.

The first time I was ever introduced to LARPs was when I saw last year’s Role Models. At the time I thought it looked like a fun way to spend your weekends and wondered why I had never heard of it, being the nerd that I am. I’m not so much of a geek that I do not recognize the pathos of a grown man being immersed in a fantasy world like this, but that does not deter me from wishing there was a group around town that I could try out. That is what makes this film so endearing, it is intelligent enough to recognize the humor in the game, yet does not make fun of or in any way look down upon its players. The film shows us both the real life and the in-game lives of the players in such a way that we see them as people, not some caracatures of friendless nerds living in their parents’ basement.

The story in this documentary is compelling, I found myself rooting for the nation to win their battles, even though I had never met these people and had never played any kind of game like this before. The drama in this film is more compelling than anything a writer could dream up, and it’s all the more compelling since it’s real. The camera work was excellent, getting all the action at all the right angles. The music especially stood out as well done. Normally, a documentary has little music, and if it does have some, it’s the kind that you barely notice as being there. In Darkon, the music complimented the action well and I found myself humming a few bars long after watching the film.

Overall, I thought this little film was endearing, emotional, and excellent for those people who don’t enjoy documentaries.

The Best thing about this movie is that you can enjoy it for free online, at snagfilms.com

-J

Bruno

2009-08-31T20:03:00.004-04:00

Sacha Baron Cohen's follow up to the wonderful comedy Borat was far more disappointing than I anticipated. Originally upon viewing the movie, I enjoyed it. The humor was not as sophisticated as Borat but it was still a charming film. In Bruno, Cohen plays a flamboyant Austrian fashion designer who comes to America searching for fame. Many of the scenes in the film are real and not staged, however I believe that several of the "real" scenes were probably staged. I'm not sure how Cohen would still be alive/not imprisoned for some of the things in the film.

Like in Borat, there are many scenes that are outrageously graphic and obscene, and yet, they are hilarious. However, these scenes are few and far between. Most of the movie feels like it is stretched too thin and it is very shallow. The humor is predictable and the script was probably written well, however, with Cohen's thick fake Austrian accent it is hard to understand everything he says. And like the accent, it's sometimes hard to understand the jokes: they are either too shallow to even make sense or they are too complex that they will fly over the average viewer's head. However, the film is still funny upon it's first viewing. There are several scenes that are strikingly hilarious.

But no matter what people say about the plot, humor, or writing, Sacha Baron Cohen should still be seen as a king of comedy. He is an insanely brave man who will do anything for a laugh and to entertain his audience.Bruno wasn't as good as Borat, but it's still worth the watch. It only lasts an hour and 17 minutes which is good because it would have been impossible to make it last any longer without losing the audience. If it had been any longer I would not recommend this movie, but it was the perfect length so for anybody who likes obscene and outrageous humor, take a look at Bruno.

-H

The Descent

2009-08-25T19:47:00.005-04:00

I can only start by saying that horror movies usually don't scare me. They have made me jump, they have made me squirm, but I had never, never truly screamed during a horror movie...until I watched The Descent.

Written and directed by Neil Marshall, The Descent is a movie about death, friendship, and the will to survive. After the death of the main character, Sarah's, husband and daughter, five of her friends decide to take her on an adventure. The girls decide to go cave-diving. They plan on going to a tourist attraction like cave, but because of the adventurous spirit of one of the women, Juno, they end up going to a completely uncharted cave system. Down in the caves the girls experience pure terror. Creepy creature called Crawlers stalk the girls through the cave system forcing the them to push themselves to do things that they would not normally do.

My favorite thing about this movie had to be the building up of suspense. It starts slow, but it is truly worth the wait. The first forty minutes of the movie are all just a build up to the last half of the movie. That's not to say, however, that they weren't frightening. While there wasn't any in-your-face gore and terror, their is a suspense created that will cause viewers to be very nervous. I must admit, I am somewhat claustrophobic and seeing this group of women crawling through the tight cave systems terrified me. My palms got sweaty and my heart was racing and yet I was still waiting for the movie to get to the downright horror part. And then, without any warning, it happened. The suspense turned into complete chaos. And at that moment, I screamed. I have never reacted like that to any horror movie I've ever seen, but something about the white, corpse-like face of the Crawler looming over the woman's shoulder completely horrified me. And after that moment the movie became absolutely terrifying. Crawlers jumped around the screen, women were screaming, the camera was moving and it was just the most disturbing scene I have ever seen.

However, the disturbing images, blood, and gore are not the only things that made the movie outstanding. The underlying themes of overcoming death and heartache, of trusting friends and the bonds of friendship being destroyed, and of doing whatever you can to survive cause the film to have a much deeper meaning than most horror films of this time period.

If I had to rate this movie out of ten, I believe I would give it a 9. The Descent is one of the most incredible horror films I have ever seen. It is truly terrifying and after seeing this film you can count on one thing: you will never, ever want to go cave-diving.

-H

Crank: High Voltage

2009-08-23T13:13:00.001-04:00

I knew what to expect when I started Crank: High Voltage, absolutely anything. Crank, and its sequel are totally crazy and unpredictable, so I was expecting to see some insane things happen in Crank: High Voltage, and I was not disappointed. The movie is delightfully inappropriate and foul-mouthed with a completely idiotic, yet strangely believable story.

Chev Chelios is having another bad day. After being poisoned and falling a mile from a helicopter in the first movie, Chev is kidnapped by mysterious men who have a strange desire for Chev’s heart. They take out his heart and replace it with an electronic one which Chev must keep electrified constantly in order to stay alive so that he can hunt down his own heart. The thing I liked the most about the first Crank film was how much fun it all was. The action moved at a breakneck pace, never slowing down for an instant. It was completely brainless entertainment, but it was all good fun. The sequel attempts to retain the pacing and the fun of the first movie, and almost succeeds. The movie slows down too much at some points, but the pacing is pretty good. The fun isn’t all there though. Perhaps what made the first movie so much fun was how surprising it all was. When I watched Crank, I had heard it was quick and inappropriate, but I had no idea quite how much so. I was surprised into having a roaring good time for an hour and a half. The second movie just doesn’t have that element of surprise going for it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a lot of fun to watch, but it just isn’t as much fun as the first movie.

The thing that stood out the most in this movie, and maybe the first one as well, I don’t remember as well, was the music. Mike Patton does an excellent job of choosing and writing music to complement the action. A nice touch toward the beginning of the movie, the hero, played by Jason Statham, begins whistling along with the background music as he beats up one of the thugs who kidnapped him.

Overall, the movie has excellent acting, Jason Statham is always a delight to watch, frenetic action and pacing, and another crazy sex scene, but the fun factor isn’t quite all there. If I had to give a rating to this movie, I would give it a seven out of ten. Very good, but not great.

-J

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

2009-08-22T16:18:00.002-04:00

The second Chronicles of Narnia film, directed by Andrew Adamson, isn’t quite a disaster, but it comes pretty darn close. If only this film had come in a world without Harry Potter, I think it would have been loads better. Harry Potter was the beginning of the edgy books and films for young people and everyone has been trying to copy their success ever since, with the Chronicles of Narnia films being one of them. The book, Prince Caspian, by Christian theologian C. S. Lewis, was a charming little book, like all of the series, except maybe The Last Battle (I want the series to survive just so I can see what they do with that book). There was danger, but nothing a young child couldn’t handle, and a happy ending was always assured with Lewis’ version of God, Aslan. Now, with the new edgy Harry Potter teens, the film-makers had to make a darker version of Prince Caspian than was necessary. With extra battles and lots of throat cutting and a couple beheadings, the film is an odd mixture of darkness and the light happy ending of the book.

In Prince Caspian, the Pevensie children; Peter, Susan, Edmond, and Lucy, return to Narnia to find that hundreds of years have passed and the Narnians have been nearly exterminated by the evil Talmarines who, in probably the worst decision of the movie, all look like Mexicans. The good Prince Caspian is the rightful heir to the throne of Narnia, but his throne has been seized by his evil uncle, Lord Miraz. Now the Pevensies must help Prince Caspian reclaim his throne and bring peace and prosperity back to the land of Narnia.

The problem with this movie is its contradictory mix of darkness and lightness. Some parts of the movie are all dark, like the failed invasion of the Talmarine fortress; High King Peter must retreat and leave behind half his army to be slaughtered by the Talmarine archers. Other parts of the movie are all lightness, like Lucy’s search for the god of Narnia, Aslan. If the makers had elected to go one way or the other, it would have worked much better. If they had decided to go the darkness route, they could have thrown in some moral ambiguity, you saw a hint of that anyway. Instead, the movie skips over the “wrongs” that Peter commits, instead of arguing whether they were really wrong. If the movie had gone the lighter route, they would have ended up with something more approximating the original story, without half the epic battles, but a lot more heart. The movie would have worked either way, but with choosing neither and trying to walk the line between them, the film-makers spelled the doom of this movie.

The first movie was charming, but this one veers from that to make something a little more adult than its PG rating would imply. Many have said that the Narnia franchise should have died when it lost its distributor last year; I’m more willing to give the series a second chance, but only one. Voyage of the Dawn Treader had better impress me.

-J

The Haunting

2009-08-19T19:50:00.006-04:00

For being a horror movie made in 1963, The Haunting was a truly disturbing film. It tells about a haunted house, Hill House, that was said to have been "born evil." Everyone who had ever come in contact with the house had supposedly been killed by it's evil power. One woman passed in a carriage accident, a man died after briefly living in the house, and another woman passed away from an illness. While all of these things seem like coincidences, many people truly believed that the house was the cause of all the deaths. These beliefs inspired a young man to take a team of people into Hill House to explore the possibility of supernatural phenomenon. Upon arriving, the guests experience many strange activities and consequently are faced with the terror of an untimely death.

Obviously there is no blood or gore in this film. Like other horror films of this time, The Haunting relies more on an atmospheric terror than on visuals or the "shock factor." However, there was plenty of disturbing images that created a truly creepy and tense film. There are sequences of loud banging noises where the women are hiding in their rooms trying to stay quiet so the spirit doesn't know where they are. Julie Harris, who plays the main character Eleanor, and Claire Bloom, who played Eleanor's friend/roommate Theo, both do incredible jobs portraying true fear and terror. Their faces during many of the scenes created the mood of suspense and fear that is so essential to creating an atmospheric horror film. But not only does Harris portray fear amazingly, she also portrays insanity beautifully. Her character, Eleanor seems to slowly be going insane, however, because of Harris' acting skills it's hard to tell what is only in her mind and what is truly happening within Hill House.

The plot is also surprisingly original and interesting. Many scenes in the movie, including one where two women fall asleep holding hands and wake up holding hands, but not with each other and another where the door in the house is actually breathing, were shocking to see in a movie from that time period. The Haunting is a truly superior horror film. The script was written to keep the audience engaged and interested, the plot was shocking and original (especially for 1963) and the acting was superb! I would definitely recommend this movie to anyone who has an interest in horror films because not only is it beautifully done, but it has a surprise ending that will give today's "twist" ending a run for their money!

-H

Dragon Hunters

2009-08-16T18:24:00.003-04:00

Lian Chu and Gwizdo are the heroes of the French CG movie, Dragon Hunters. They are small-time adventurers who are never taken seriously by any of their clients, until they are hired by a blind king to rid him of The World Gobbler, the largest dragon in history. Accompanied by the king’s niece, Zoe, the adventurers set off for the end of the world to confront the village devouring monster.

Seeing as I watched this movie dubbed into English, I can’t really criticize the voice acting in the movie. I always try my best to watch movies in their original language, as I much prefer subtitles to dubbing, but this time, the dubbed version was the only copy available to me. However, all the voice acting was adequate, with two exceptions: Rob Paulson worked well as the small Gwizdo, but Forest Whitaker was not the best choice to play the massive Lian Chu. I have nothing against Forest Whitaker, personally, I think he’s an excellent actor. Lian Chu however, is a massive guy, but the voice coming out of him is the soft spoken Whitaker, which could have been what they were going for, but just doesn’t work for me. Keep in mind though that perhaps the original actor for the role was a better fit.

The voice acting is the only complaint I have about this movie though. Overall, I loved the film. This is the first French animation film that I’ve ever seen, but I saw many differences between this movie and what you would see made in America. All of the differences were for the better. Though Dragon Hunters is a small story with a small cast of characters, the tale feels massive in scope. Not because of the story, but because of the world that the film creates feels so real. When the movie starts, you’re thrown into this brand-new fantasy world that you have never seen before, that you know nothing of its history, yet it feels real.

Everything in the movie is beautiful, especially the landscapes. I really wasn’t expecting much when I started the movie, but one of the first scenes involves a floating cabbage patch and a fight with a giant slime-squirting slug. When I saw that scene, I was blown away. Everything about the movie is creative and well thought out. The world features floating islands in the sky unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. The characters and monsters in the movie look great and are all unlike what I was expecting. In a word, this was different. From the ghost village in the sky, to the monster made up of birds, everything looks great and new.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who loves good animation and who wants to see something entirely new. I would say five stars, two thumbs up, excellent show.

-J

Terminator: Salvation

2009-08-14T23:21:00.002-04:00

Terminator: Salvation, the fourth Terminator movie, reminds me of another summer blockbuster featuring large robots. They’re both very big, very loud, and extraordinarily dumb. The film is set in the future, after the world has been taken over by the machines of Skynet. John Connor is a soldier in the human resistance. Contrary to what a fan of the Terminator series would think, John Connor is not the lead character in the movie, instead, most of the movie focuses on Marcus Wright, a man who wakes up in this strange future after being executed many years before.

I am a huge fan of the Terminator franchise, having seen the first three movies multiple times. I even watched the good, but just not Terminator good, tv show, The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I’m even one of the few fans that really loved the third movie, Rise of the Machines. Salvation if the first time that the franchise has really disappointed me. The fault mostly lies with the choice of McG as a director and a very weak script. The casting was excellent; I thought Christian Bale would have made an incredible John Connor, especially after seeing his Batman. Anton Yelchin is a very good actor, who I wish I could see more of. His portrayal of Pavel Chekov in this year’s Star Trek was perfect. Sam Worthington was the best actor in the movie however. I had never heard of the actor before seeing this movie, but what I did see of him here was worth making mention of. Moon Blodgood and Bryce Dallas Howard are both capable actresses, but were both underused in the movie, I barely even noticed they were there.

The actors, however hard they worked, could never have overcome the half-hearted script and directing that this movie received. While this movie was being made, I had two reactions to the news I received about it. The first was joy that Christian Bale had been chosen to play the role of John Connor, the other was disappointment that McG had been chosen as its director. McG was just too lightweight a director to handle something as respected or as serious as a franchise like Terminator. Through the entire movie, I kept thinking to myself, “What’s the point?” There are all these characters running around, doing what seems to be very important things, yet all of it comes across as rather pointless. The terminators themselves seem harmless in this movie. At one point, John Connor sneaks into the terminator headquarters and hides behind a corner as a “deadly” terminator walks past, pauses, looks around, and moves on. Is this the new terminators? Comic jerk-off guards of a useless base? Where’s the sense of dread that the sight of a terminator used to put in our hearts? Where’s the fear gone? It’s gone along with the respect the franchise used to receive. The only sense I got that the terminators were any kind of threat was when Arnold Schwarzenegger shows up, but that was quickly replaced by disgust again when he left and was replaced by a useless machine that appeared about as dangerous as a roomba. Hide the kids, the world has been taken over by roombas.

-J

Audition

2009-08-13T17:42:00.007-04:00

So, lately my boyfriend and I have been watching quite a few foreign horror movies. Audition is a J-Horror movie that is a strange combination of romance and thriller and drama and horror and even a little bit of comedy. Released in 1999, it had a record number of walk-outs at the Rotterdam Film Festival and even caused one viewer to faint and be sent to the emergency room because of it's shocking images and ideas.

Audition tells the story of a widower, Shigeharu, who is looking to remarry. One of his colleagues sets up a fake movie audition where the two man are truly looking for a woman for the widower to marry. Upon reviewing the resumes and interviewing the girls, Shigeharu takes an instant liking to a young woman named Asami. The two begin dating, but after learning of the strange deaths and disappearances of everybody connected to Asami, Shigeharu starts to realize she isn't who he believes her to be.

This movie is truly one of the most shocking movies I have ever seen. At the beginning, my boyfriend and I weren't even sure that we had gotten the right movie. Going into it, I knew Audition was a horror movie, but the beginning felt like a drama or a nice romance movie. However, there was something creepy about it the entire time. Maybe it was because I went into the movie knowing what Asami truly is, but it was very disturbing to see how sweet and romantic she appears to be in the beginning of the film. Ehih Shiina does a brilliant job portraying the psychopathic Asami, starting the role as a friendly and angelic sweetheart and transforming into the most merciless and terrifying killer to ever star in a horror film.

Because the movie is Japanese, I had to watch it using subtitles. I feel that I may have lost a little in translation, but the dialogue was still quite captivating. It truly works because it tells the terrifying story in bits in pieces that leave the viewer wondering what is really happening until the end of the film. And even now I'm still left wondering what the film actually means. I'm sure it all means something. And I believe it has to do with caging your emotions inside of you and how freeing it is to release them. I say this because of one key plot point: as a child Asami was sexually assaulted by her step father. *(Spoiler)*This abuse led to her losing her sanity which caused her to decapitate him with a piano string. And many of her other acts of violence were also caused by provocation. However, this does not excuse her from being considered a complete psychopath for many reasons, mainly the final scene.

When I read about the person who fainted at the screening of Audition I was positive that it happened during the final scene of the film. It was described by Rob Zombie as being one of the hardest things he's ever had to watch and made me, a gore-hound, flinch and close my eyes. I have never seen such raw and terrifying evil in a movie. Sweet, gentle Asami, with her angelic voice becomes a demonic evil who will terrify viewers for years to come. This may be a spoiler but because it has been ten years since the release of this film I feel that I can discuss the final scene. The final scene of the movie is a disgusting torture scene. Asami takes acupuncture needles and says that it has taken her forever to learn to make it hurt. Then she sticks the needles into Shigeharu's stomach and eye sockets. Then she takes a piano wire, and with the biggest smile on her face, she saws off Shigeharu's foot. It was the most terrifying, disturbing, and disgusting scene I have ever seen.

It took Audition a while to get good. To be honest, my boyfriend and I almost turned it off. But for some reason we decided to keep watching and I'm so glad that we did. The ending of Audition makes up for the boring hour and a half you have to watch before you get there. But be warned, this movie is NOT for the squeamish.

-H

Inside

2009-08-10T17:18:00.003-04:00

Usually, I don't really like foreign horror movies. I don't mind the subtitles or anything, it's just that the plots are usually too outrageous for my liking. However, Inside was a very different kind of movie foreign horror film. Inside is a French film about a young pregnant woman who was in a car crash that killed her husband. Several months later, the mother has still not had the baby so the doctors decide to induce labor the next day. The young woman goes back to her house where she is terrorized by another young lady seeking vengeance. The plot sounds a little crazy but it really works well. The woman who stalks the pregnant woman is truly terrifying and makes for an awesome movie villain. She has no mercy on her victims, killing them in the most terrible ways possible. Her weapon of choice is usually a pair of scissors but other times she will use whatever is handy to torture her victims.

Inside is probably the most gory movie I have ever seen and that's saying a lot because I have seen a lot of gory movies. But the level of gore in the movie surpasses any I've ever seen. There is blood covering almost every surface in the movie. There are people getting stabbed in the throat and blood spurting out of them. People getting shot in the head and even people getting cut open. But somehow, all of the gore works in the movie. It is not too extreme and probably fits the type of wounds most of the people suffered.

Beatrice Dalle stars as the character known only as La femme. She doesn't have many lines, but she plays her character with such skill that whenever she speaks she terrifies. Just the sight of her walking into the room will cause your heart to race and your palms to sweat. But Dalle wouldn't have been so frightening had Alysson Paradis, who played the young pregnant woman, not acted so terrified of her. Paradis' screams are enough to make you cringe and they seem so realistic that it's scary. Both woman are incredible in their roles and play off of each other to create an extremely tense and disturbing atmosphere.

Inside is a very well-crafted film with beautiful acting and an incredible script that all work surprisingly well together. It is surprisingly short, clocking in at only an hour and eighteen minutes, but it packs all the scares and thrills it can into that short amount of time.

-H

5 Best Horror Movie Remakes

2009-08-08T18:36:00.013-04:00

Before I even get started, let me say that this list is not comparing the remakes to the original movies. Unfortunately, I haven't seen all the original versions of the movies I would like to talk about, so some of these entries will only be discussing the remake. Others, however, I will compare to the original, but I will not let that factor into my decision when ranking the movies. So here it goes: The 5 Best Horror Movie Remakes.

The Ring (2002)

The Ring is a remake of a Japanese movie called Ringu. I have actually seen the original movie and I must say that I thought it was terrible. However, that is not why The Ring made it on this list. To be frank, The Ring was terribly scary. The idea of a little girl crawling out of the TV (mimicking the modern fear of technology) is a very relevant horror movie plot making it more terrifying than movies that mimic older or outdated fears. The acting is incredible and the visuals are terrifying which all added together creates an intense and memorable horror film.

The Last House on the Left (2009)

The Last House on the Left is the newest of the remakes on this list. Unfortunately, I have not seen the original of this movie, but I thoroughly enjoyed the remake. The filming was gritty, very reminiscent of 1970's horror, and the violence was gory, but not in your face. However, I must warn anyone who wants to watch this movie, there is a very brutal rape scene that may be too drastic for some viewers, although, I believe the rape scene makes the movie all the more intense and disturbing.

The Amityville Horror (2005)

The Amityville Horror is another entry on this list that, unfortunately I have only seen the remake. The new version of this movie is very dark and disturbing. It is gory and in-your-face and just plainly disgusting, but it's a great movie for anyone who wants a true thrill. However, having the well-know, comedic actor Ryan Reynolds play the lead role of the man who goes crazy may not have been the best move on the casting directors part. It is hard to take Reynolds seriously as a villain although he plays the part well.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

The Hills Have Eyes is probably one of my favorite horror movies. It is dirty, gritty, gory, disgusting, and enjoyable all at the same time. The characters are likable, the villains are terrifying, and the plot is beautifully done. This movie is one that feels very realistic to the viewers. The way it is filmed makes the viewer feel as if they were in the desert along with the stranded family, experiencing all the terrors of a scorching desert.

Halloween (2007)

The original Halloween was one of the rare horror movie masterpieces that only come around once in many years. It was disturbing and original and had the public terrified. It seems like it would be a terribly hard movie to remake, however I think Rob Zombie did an amazing job with the new movie. The new Halloween was technically a remake of the original, however, to me it is more of a re-envisioning than a remake. Rob Zombie put his own twist to the story and created a dirty, brutal, and terrifying remake that I, personally, found more intriguing than the original. The movie is appropriately gory and beautifully filmed in the style of 1970's horror films. Rob Zombie has created an insanely interesting horror movie that is original despite it being a remake.

Well, there are my picks for the 5 best horror movie sequels. Agree/Disagree? Comment and let me know your opinions! I hope you enjoyed it!

-H

Bart Got a Room

2009-08-06T12:13:00.002-04:00

Bart Got a Room is the story of a young man at the end of high school. Told by everyone around him that the only point of prom is to get a good picture with a good looking girl, Danny goes in search of a date. Having already rented a room for after prom, he must choose between the hot, blonde cheerleader, or his best friend for eight years.

I went into Bart Got a Room with high expectations. I saw the trailer some time ago and thought it looked like a lot of fun, kind of a mix between American Pie and Juno. Finally I was able to see the movie and I was very disappointed. While the movie’s writers tried to make it quirky, it fails. The jokes fall flat and the quirky “imagination scenes” are annoying and invasive. The most annoying part of the movie is the ending. Of course we all know where this movie is headed as soon as we read the description. The hero is going to realize that he really loves the girl he’s been friends with for so long and they kiss and live happily ever after. This movie however, changes that. While the hero and his friend do end up together, there is no romance or spark or chemistry of any kind between the two. While the two main actors are very endearing, the writing takes no advantage of them. The two barely have any scenes together and the ones that they do have are boring. We want so much to have these two end up together, but there’s no spark, nothing.

There are two redeeming qualities to this movie however. There is one sequence toward the end of the film that had me laughing out loud. The hero has no date and he calls his father to help him find one before he has to get to the prom. The jokes come quick and the action moves fast, it was the funniest scene in the movie. The other good part of the movie was the acting. Alia Shawkat is an excellent actress who I loved in Arrested Development and wish I could see her in more movies. I’m looking forward to seeing her teamed up with the also excellent Ellen Page in the upcoming Whip It. Even better is the performance by William H. Macy. I think he is one of the best underused actors working today. His performance as Danny's father made up the bulk of the funny parts of the movie. I especially enjoyed his simulated sex noises in one scene.

Although there were some good scenes and some excellent actors, the writing of the movie took poor advantage of its resources to make a flat and tired comedy.

The Room

2009-08-05T18:09:00.005-04:00

The star of the movie The Room, Tommy Wiseau is not the average actor. Because, not only did he play the main character of the movie, he wrote the script and funded, produced, and directed The Room. This movie first drew my attention when I saw a little segment on the national news talking about it. The people who were interviewed called this movie, "The best, worst movie ever made." Just the idea that a movie could be so, terribly bad that it becomes good intrigued me so I decided to check it out. I was also intrigued by the cult following of this movie. Many people will follow this movie from screening to screening quoting the lines and dressing up as the characters. However, they don't follow the movie because it's good. They follow the movie, laugh at the most dramatic parts, throw plastic spoons and forks at the screen, and they do this all in front of the mastermind the created this movie. Tommy Wiseau attends many of the screenings and has to sit there and watch his movie get torn to shreds by the audience. But no matter how good they think the movie is, the public has gained a great deal of interest in this movie and even attention for the wrong reasons is better than no attention at all.

So, I'll begin by talking about what makes this movie so bad.Here's why the movie was so terrible: the acting, the script, the filming, the editing, and finally, the plot!

The actors are terrible to begin with. They sounds bored throughout the entire film, even during the countless sex scenes (which by the way are the stupidest, most boring scenes I've ever had the misfortune to witness). They walk around, looking clueless, reciting their pointless lines, and putting emphasis on all the wrong words. But it's not like they had much to work with. The script was absolutely horrendous. The lines made no sense half the time and it made the characters sound like they were completely stupid. It's like every time the main female character, Lisa, began to talk, she would say the exact same lines, "But I don't love Johnny anymore. I love Mark. But I don't want to talk about it." It was okay, maybe the first five times, but by the end of the movie I was ready to stand up and scream, "Okay, we get it! Shut up now!" And every time a character saw another character they would always address each other by their names, even if they had just seen each other. For example, Johnny (the main character) is hanging out with his best friend Mark. Then they meet each other a few minutes later on the roof and they say,, "Hey Johnny!", "Hey, Mark!" It's not like that's a really bad line, but it's just so unrealistic it wasn't even funny.

And on top of everything, it was impossible to follow the timeline of the story. Whenever the director decided to cut scenes, all of the characters would just walk off screen and then the next scene would start. There was no break or flash in between that. And to make it even more confusing, the characters would enter a room and stay for about two minutes and then say they had to leave. It made keeping track of time impossible. (As did the goofs in the script and wardrobe where characters would leave then magically appear in the next scene wearing clothes that they had been wearing about two or three scenes before. This did actually happen in the film. The mom of the main female character, Lisa, leaves the house and then reappears in the next scene wearing clothes from a few scenes before. It's impossible to tell whether this was a goof or if the scene is taking place later in the movie.)

And just so everybody reading this knows, Tommy Wiseau has to be the worst actor to ever walk the earth. He couldn't even read his lines correctly. He emphasized the wrong words, made the stupidest faces and noises, and for some reason his words were out of sync with the movement of his lips but he was the only one in the movie like that.

HOWEVER, this movie was actually pretty incredible. Despite how amazingly stupid it was, I really enjoyed watching it. The plot wasn't the worst ever written, it was just poorly executed. And that actually made for some pretty hilarious scenes. The way Wiseau said his lines made even the most serious scenes laughable and then the scenes that were actually trying to be funny were even more hilarious. (I mean, just look at the picture of him and imagine him shirtless, in a sex scene with a pretty young eighteen year old, creepy and hilarious all at the same time, right?)

The Room is probably the worst movie ever made. Everything about it was just incredibly stupid, but it is really worth the time it takes to watch. I truly enjoyed myself watching this movie and I plan to see it again. You will either love this movie or you will hate this movie, there is absolutely no in between. But no matter how you feel about this movie, you will always remember it!

-H

The Answer Man

2009-08-04T18:58:00.001-04:00

The Answer Man is a smart, delightful, charming, funny, heartbreaking little movie written and directed by John Hindman. Jeff Bridges stars as Arlen Faber, a phenomenally popular self-help writer who has been in hiding for twenty years. Arlen wrote one book, and now millions of fans want to ask him their own questions about life, but Arlen doesn’t want to be bothered by them, until he meets a young man struggling with alcoholism, and falls for a chiropractor with a young son. There shouldn’t be a single likeable character in this movie. Everyone has something wrong. Arlen still has issues accepting his father’s death, five years afterward and has problems relating to other human beings. Elizabeth is in fear every minute of her life. Her son still doesn’t understand that his dad is gone for good because his mother hasn’t talked to him about it. Kris is a recovering alcoholic who fears that he can never be any better; that an alcoholic, like his father, is all that he will ever be. None of these characters should be likeable, yet as soon as we meet these people we care for them and what they’re going through.

The writing for this movie is excellent. Tightly wound, every character gets his equal share of screen time, all of them get their happy ending. We’re really cheering for all of them by the end, hoping that everything turns out right, Hindman has created people in this movie, not just characters. By giving them faults, we come to care for them even more, because they are all the more real, we can relate to them because we all have problems too. The Answer Man is all about moving past those problems, admitting that they are there and moving on. The movie is much like its titular protagonist, giving us answers and dispensing wisdom.

The acting was well done. Jeff Bridges is one of my favorite actors, not because he’s the best there is, but because it seems to me that whatever he does, he really puts his heart into. His performance here is a heart filled one. Lauren Graham and Lou Taylor Pucci are also outstanding as Elizabeth and Kris. The humor in this movie is well written and delivered well to really give us something to laugh at as well as something to think about and be uplifted by.

The Answer Man is a fun and uplifting movie that will give anyone with a heart something to enjoy.

Vicky Christina Barcelona

2009-08-03T10:34:00.003-04:00

Vicky Christina Barcelona is the first Woody Allen movie I’ve ever seen. What I saw here makes me want to see more by him. The movie, written and directed by Woody Allen, is about two American tourists to Barcelona, Vicky and Christina. They both have very different views of love, Vicky seeing love as stability, Christina preferring a wild, passionate definition of love. The two encounter Juan Antonio in Barcelona, who shows them that they may both be wrong about what they think of as love.

The movie appealed to me in more ways than one. I have never had a personal definition of love for myself. I believe that I feel it for H, yet I could never define what it is that I feel. I’m not that kind of person. So a movie about defining what love is, makes me think. Christina, played by Scarlet Johannson, says it best early in the movie, describing a student film that she made. “It’s about why love is hard to define.” And I think the movie answer that question. The final answer to why love is hard to define is that love is indefinable; that it is different for every person. What Vicky thinks is love for her, really ends with unhappiness, and what Christina thought was the perfect man and woman for her, ended up being not enough. Every person has their own form of love, like Javier Bardem’s Juan Antonio and Penelope Cruz’ Maria Elena, whose love can never work without a third person. We all have a different kind of love that we need, yet we can never choose what that love is. We are born with it, unchangeable.

Sorry to ramble there, obviously the movie made me think about life and love, and that’s what the movie does best. It makes the viewer really think about things. Someone could watch it and not think at all and they would hate the movie, because it would seemingly have no point; the only way to enjoy the movie is to really think as you’re watching and after you watch. Ask yourself, what is this movie trying to tell me?

The acting and the writing and directing are all unassuming in this movie. Everything appears natural, as though they are not acting, but living. You feel like a voyeur looking into a little private drama, it feels so real. There is nothing stilted about the acting or the dialogue, it is masterfully played; it sounds like something you would hear yourself or your friends say.

This is an excellent little movie that really makes you think about things. Don’t watch it is you don’t want to think.

Lesbian Vampire Killers

2009-08-02T19:19:00.002-04:00

Director Phil Claydon’s Lesbian Vampire Killers is a work of genius. I never thought I would say that about something with such a lurid title, but I will say it again, Lesbian Vampire Killers is amazing. Freshly dumped Jimmy and his friend Fletch go on a hiking holiday in order to have some fun, and maybe get laid. Unfortunately, they pick Cragwich as their destination, a small village that happens to be overrun by the titular lesbian vampires. Apparently, the evil vampire queen Carmella has placed a curse on the village, that when every village girl turns eighteen, they are turned into vampires, until the last of the line of Carmella’s archfoe vampire hunter family is prophesied to return and end the curse once and for all. Unfortunately for Jimmy and Fletch, Jimmy happens to be that last heir.

I wanted to see this movie as soon as I saw the trailer a few months ago. Go ahead, just say the title aloud and see how many heads pop up. Who wouldn’t want to see a movie with that kind of title. That aside though, the movie was better than I thought it would be. I was laughing aloud every other minute while watching, it was so funny. The writing especially was excellent, with many witty one-liners, especially from Fletch, and excellent dialog and story. Stuart Williams and Paul Hupfield really did an exemplary job on this script, I want to see anything else these guys write. David Higgs did a really great job with the camera work. Being a lower budget movie, the cinematography could make or break it, and here it really was excellent. Everything looked crisp and bright, the opposite of what you normally see in a movie that takes place largely at night and in a graveyard. Phil Claydon’s directing was brilliant. The acting was another place where this movie shown. Though I had never heard of any of the actors in this movie, I want to see anything else they make. Every single person in this film put their heart into their job as an actor, putting in outstanding performances. James Corden as Fletch is especially worth a mention. The style of this movie reminded me greatly of another brilliant horror-comedy, Shaun of the Dead. Both movies are brilliant and combine horror and comedy perfectly.

What else can I say? If you love horror or comedy, you must give this movie a look. Don’t pass it over just because of the title. There are only two things wrong with this movie. The first is that I’m probably not going to go around proclaiming it as one of my favorite movies of the year, just because I’m too embarrassed to say the title to anyone’s face. The second, and even bigger thing wrong is that there is too little of it. I want more, much more.

-J

5 Best Horror Movie Sequels

2009-07-31T16:49:00.010-04:00

It seems that horror movies really try to milk every movie franchise for what it's worth. Most horror movies that come out today are either sequels or remakes. Next month, two horror movies sequels are coming out that I'm really excited about: H2 and The Final Destination. In honor of those two movies I decided to make a list of the 5 best horror movie sequels. So here it goes: Enjoy!

5. Scream 2 & 3 (1997, 2000)

The Scream franchise doesn't exactly fall into the same category as most horror movie sequels. Scream was a planned trilogy from the The second movie was interesting, but I don't feel like it was completely necessary. The story really didn't further the first movie and it wasn't needed to explain the third movie. Basically it just felt like filler. However, I listed these sequels because the third movie was completely original and closed the franchise with the perfect, complex "twist" ending that explains who had Sydney's mother murdered and why.

4. Hostel: Part II (2007)

Hostel has probably one of the most brutal, gory, disturbing movie plots ever imagined. And Hostel II is even more disturbing than the first. It has a better plot that is much more disturbing than the first because of the whole good guy gone bad kind of theme. A young woman is taken hostage and then she turns on her killer consequently becoming what she was running from. Hostel II has some of the most brutal images I have ever seen, but it also made me laugh out loud in parts and the perfect irony used in the story.

3. Final Destination 2 (2003)

Final Destination 2 is probably the movie I've seen the most on this list. It is on TV all the time and I watch it every time I come across it even though most of the good parts have been cut out. Final Destination has one of the most creative plots I have ever heard and it actually played out pretty well to make a sequel. And personally, I think Final Destination 2 is better than the first one. The images are more gory, the ways people die are more creative, and the whole movie just works a little better to me than the first or third one did (it was actually scary while the other two were just entertaining.) Not to mention the fact that I get nervous every time I hear Highway to Hell when I'm in the car because of the opening scene of the movie.

2. The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007)

Okay, I absolutely loved the first The Hills Have Eyes. But, I decided to include the sequel because I thought it was pretty amazing too. Just the idea of being out in the desert, away from civilization, in the scorching heat is disturbing to me. And I've always had a fascination with cannibal movies. So The Hills Have Eyes is one of the most perfect horror movie combinations. The second movie centers around a group of soldiers out in the desert searching for some lost scientist. The soldiers are stalked by the cannibals and some fall prey to the killers. While this movie is very good, it doesn't work as well as the first one. Because the cannibals prey on a normal family in the first movie, it feels more personal and realistic to the viewer which makes it scarier. However, The Hills Have Eyes 2 is a well-thought-out, interesting horror film.

1.The Devil's Rejects (2005)

So anyone who regularly reads this blog is probably sick and tired of me talking about The Devil's Rejects so I'll keep this short and sweet. The Devil's Rejects is probably one of the best horror movies ever made. The images are amazing, the music fits perfectly with the story and the acting talents of Sheri Moon Zombie and Bill Moseley are just incredible. The Devil's Rejects is 20 million times better than it's predecessor House of 100 Corpses and I consider it to be a horror movie masterpiece.

Well there you have it: my picks for the best horror movie sequels. Hope you enjoyed it!

-H

A Few Short Films

2009-07-29T09:02:00.011-04:00

Here are a few reviews from short films that I have seen recently. There will be links at the bottom of every article if anyone would like to check out the films. I'd like to thank http://www.entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/ and http://www.pbs.org/ for providing all of the films! Enjoy!

Spin- (UK, 2007)

Spin is an interesting little film clocking in at nine minutes. It shows a group of teenagers at a party, smoking and drinking and having fun. The film takes a surprising twist, however, when a teen that no one at the party knows is invited to play a game of spin the bottle. He spins and it happens to land on another young man. The two must go into the bathroom together where some true feelings are exposed. The film isn't explicit with its ideas but it's obvious that it wants to make a message about sexuality. I believe the film is trying to explain how confused many teenagers are about their sexuality and if they are bisexual or homosexual how hard it is to expose that and be who they truly are. Here's a link to that film if anyone would like to check it out:http://shootingpeople.org/watch/film.php?film_id=618

Pin Point- (James Kin)
Pin Point is a disturbing animated short that clocks in at four minutes. Probably the most disturbing animated film I've ever seen, Pin Point begins in a graveyard at the grave of a small child. After the funeral, a little girl and an older woman go back to the orphanage where the young girl lives. It is here we're we learn the older woman runs the orphanage. She is shown cooking food for the children and the putting poison into the stew. The little girl discovers this and decides to save all the children by killing the old lady. The story, however, isn't the only thing that makes the film creepy. The animation is very unique and interesting. It has a very child-like style that is extremely disturbing when paired with a story about the poisoning of children and voodoo. Here's the link if anyone would like to check the movie out: http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/insideindies/shortsfest/player.html?chosen=pinpoint

The Furniture- (Tyler Measom, 2004)

The Furniture is a darkly comedic short film clocking in at two and a half minutes. It begins with a man on the phone with his psychiatrist, telling him that he is very scared. The psychiatrist talks to have for a few seconds and then the young man begins repeating "The furniture does not want to kill me." At the beginning the film I believed the movie was trying to explore the depths of mental illness, however by the end I'm pretty sure that wasn't the idea the film maker was going for. With an ironic and clever ending, The Furniture is a hilarious short film with a very smart plot that just wants to make people laugh. Here's the link if you'd like to check it out: http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/insideindies/shortsfest/furniture.html

That's all the short films for today! I hope you enjoy these films and please keep reading the blog for more reviews of independent shorts like these.

-H